Ten

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On a scale

of one to ten,

with ten being the best,

God said we are all tens.

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Why should we argue with God's judgement

and become the judges of others character,

even when we know that our own character

may be less than the best.

We judge the character of others

so that we do not have to look

at our own eccentricities.

Guilt and shame are the result

of not doing the will of our Higher Power.

God does not hold grudges or keep score,

so why should we?

God gives us a chance to be a ten every day,

the choice is ours.

Be kind, smile at ten people today.

Be loving, tell someone in your life how special they are to you.

Be the ten your Higher Power wants you to be.

When all else fails, count to ten.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Gratitude

. Just a note while I ponder doing some yard work. . GRATITUDE . Thanks to a Higher Power and the rooms of AA I have a yard to ponder. I also have a life that is happy, joyous and free, a life where the choices I make today are mine. Prior to AA all choices were made for me by my disease. Where to go, when to go, who to go with, and the why was always to find alcohol and drink it in a place, with people, where I would not feel any guilt or shame for drinking the way my diseases wanted me to drink, and that was alcoholically. Following the suggestions I still attend meetings and the benefits I receive from the fellowship are many. The two most important benefits are lessons learned from the long timers on how to become a long timer and the lessons from the newcomer who point out the obvious, a drunk who drinks too much will usually find a lot of trouble, if trouble doesn't find him first. Time to go trim the lawn, God is good, all of the time. . Love, hugs and blessings... ME and the Boss . . . . ..

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #1

"The cost of living has gone up another dollar 

a quart." 
~ W. C. Fields

The first word that needs to be understood 

before anyone  can even begin to deal with 

an addict/alcoholic is:

Denial....

D - don't 
E - even 
N -no (know)
I - I 
A - am 
L - lying

How can you tell when an alcoholic is lying?? 
- His lips are moving.

   Most people are good, moral, upstanding individuals who know the difference between right and wrong. Under the influence, alcoholics forget everything that has to do with making the right choice and they go into a survival mode. If it takes lying, cheating and stealing to get more of the substance that their bodies crave, they will do what they must to get it. The denial system of survival set up by the sick and suffering may and usually involves and affects everyone around them.
   Those who allow (or refuse to admit) the alcoholics immoral behaviors become the enablers of the addict/alcoholic. Enablers, (husband, wives, parents, bosses, friends? employers, significant others) 
are in themselves very sick and need education or treatment just as badly as the alcoholic.

   Rehabilitation means to return an individual back to a sane and normal moral existence.

   During the rehabilitation process education means to discover those behaviors that are destructive to the alcoholic and those around him, and compare them to the behaviors that are acceptable. 
Treatment is the series of exercises and activities suggested to change the identified negative behaviors into acceptable ones.
   After the in-patient treatment, most good rehab facilities will have a new lifestyle plan for the client to put into place upon their release from the facility. This next phase of recovery is a topic for future posts.
   One drink for the alcoholic who is trying to rehabilitate themselves means a total destruction of any progress that may have been made towards the return to a normalized behavior pattern. Often, a relapse by an addict/alcoholic, may add insult to injury. The affected has, by relapsing, added additional guilt and shame to their already diminished egos.Treatment for the relapsed addict/alcoholic (a client who has completed at least one prior stay at a 28 day facility) is a totally different and specific entity in the rehab/treatment field. Some of the more prominent rehabilitation centers in the United States have separate satellite locations or separate on campus facilities specifically assigned to relapse clients.

   Rehab, education, and treatment are to no avail if the affected do not cooperate.

   You can tell a drunk, but you can't tell him much.

   Although this article is addressed to the Addict/Alcoholic, most of the attitudes and behaviors described can be attributed to those who suffer from addictive personalities. It is not what substance one uses, but how they abuse the substance. Gambling, food, sex, workaholic, or any other obsessive compulsive behavior that cause an individual to neglect normal responsibilities or make improper moral judgements, are included in the treatable realm of addictive disorders. 
   Many rehabilitation centers are exclusive to one type of addiction or to a select few addictions that they deem to be equally well treated by their program. 
   Be aware that some of the addictions may be better treated in a clinic situation . Sex and Love addicts and the dual diagnosed usually do better when they are in controlled therapy sessions (Self-help programs) in addition to their twelve step program work. Many self help meetings are not advertised the way AA meetings are publicly scheduled and may need to be sought out by seeking professional guidance. This secrecy is not to hide from public scrutiny to avoid the social stigma, it is done to keep sexual predators and untreated deviates from stalking the vulnerable individuals who need to attend the meetings. Doctors and lawyers have a referral system they use to keep their self help meetings limited to only those in their profession. This type of activity is against the traditions of AA, however, this type of exclusivity only helps to underscore the negative stigma that alcoholism has in the general society.

The following link is to one of the most highly recommended Drug and Alcohol treatment centers in theUnited States. This facility is located in the eastern mid-Atlantic states area.
http://www.fathermartinsashley.com

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Guilt

. Creating guilt is not strictly reserved

for Jewish mothers.

"My mother should have been Jewish.
She could have taught a class on how
to induce guilt." ~ Lorna Luft

The cause of guilt is not how others make

us feel, but how we feel about others.

People pleasers are always feeling guilty.

People who are happy and content with

their relationship with their Higher Power

rarely feel guilt.

Trying to manipulate others by causing them to feel guilt and shame

is a mean and nasty thing to do.

What was the offense and how grievous was it?

Guilt is not an error of omission, it is an error of commission.

If you were never informed and it happened in spite of you,

you do not have to feel guilty.

Never feel guilty about learning something new.

Even an old dog can learn new tricks, if they want to.

If you meant to do it and it was the next right thing to do,

have no feelings of guilt and remorse.

If you meant to do it and it harms someone or something,

you are guilty.

You can never take back a stone that was thrown or an unkind word that was said.

"We are sinful not only because we have eaten
of the Tree of Knowledge, but also because we
have not yet eaten of the Tree of Life.
The state in which we are is sinful,
irrespective of guilt."                                              ~ Franz Kafka

Know that guilt pains the soul and learn to use that knowledge to help you

choose to do the next right thing.

"Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't." ~ Alan Cohen

Today, find a friend who will teach you how to achieve serenity and will do so

without causing you guilt or shame.

Today, keep a conscious contact with a Higher Power and know that

by doing His will there can be no guilt.

Today, think positive, be kind, be loving, be forgiving and be the person

your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is not being guilty.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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P.S. - Lorna Luft's mother was Judy Garland.
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