Recovery...as this drunk sees it #2

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 Addictive disease contains
all FIVE conditions that are
required to qualify as a disease.

 1) PRIMARY: The disease is not a symptom
of another condition, and exists independently
 of other disease processes.

 2) CHRONIC: There is no cure. Abstinence
is necessary to stop the behavioral and physical
progression of the disease.

 3) PROGRESSIVE: Signs and symptoms
become more severe over time.

 4) PRONE TO RELAPSE: Once the disease
has progressed to the point where the symptoms
are obvious, it becomes abnormal for the individual
not to use.The individual must learn how to not use
and must have a preventive program in place to prevent relapse.

 5) POTENTIALLY FATAL: All addictive diseases can kill
either directly or indirectly.

 There are also TWO dominant characteristics of addiction.

 1) TOLERANCE: As the result of cellular adaptation at the neuron level
in the brain, it becomes necessary to have an increase in use to achieve
the same affect.

2) PHYSICAL DEPENDENCY: Progressively severe withdrawal symptoms
of which the most important are those which originate in the brain itself.
As an addictive disease progresses it is these characteristics, tolerance
and dependency, which motivate continued use rather than anything else
in the addict/alcoholics life.

 The above is a definition, alcoholics are individuals, therefore, every alcoholic
has his own diagnosis, his own time frame for the progression of the disease,
the different nuances of this and that, which they (the alcoholic) use to deny
that they have a problem.

Every alcoholic is a square peg trying to fit into a round hole,(or visa verse).

As regards the Chronic part of the definition, medication may help some, hypnosis may
help some, but once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic and the only sane way to survive
the disease is not to drink or drug, ever.

 Progression can be illustrated by noting that some teenagers begin way out of control
and are dead by the time they are twenty-one. Some addicts and alcoholics start out hard
and hardy and have a good long run before the problems catch up to them. Some start out
slowly and go many years, with few problems, until they reach a point where they are sick
and tired of being sick and tired. There are exceptions: the traffic accident victim who is
severely hurt and requires large doses of pain killers to survive and when they are healed,
they are hooked. Grandma and Grandpa retire, never drank, now they decide to have a toddy
to help them sleep; the kids finally catch on and send them to the rehab.

The Prone to Relapse part of the disease definition is a topic that will be discussed in a series
of separate blogs after more discussions about the bad behaviors of alcoholics. The only constant
is that all of the victims will deny that they have a problem.

 Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you do not have a disease.

The pain, the agony, the suffering and the misery are always caused by someone else.
Be sympathetic of the addict who is trying to quit drinking and drugging, but remember,
tough love may be the only sane way that you have to defend yourself from the alcoholic.
Please remember, they are sick people trying to get well, not bad people trying to become good.

The following is a link to one of the more highly recommended rehabilitation facilities on the east
coast of the United States.

http://www.fathermartinsashley.com

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Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

ME and the Boss

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Perfectionism

  Who are we to think

that we can compete with God.

We might think that something

is or is not perfect, but what a

Higher Power knows will be

the last word.

"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best.
It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves,
the part that tells us that nothing we do
will ever be good enough -
that we should try again."   ~ Julia Cameron

First we must consider that perfect is a relative word.

Everyone has a different perspective on what is perfect.

You cannot please all the people all the time and remember

to include yourself in that number.

Secondly, anything we do is good enough, unless someone

else is paying you to do something different.

Sometimes it becomes impossible to work for the perfectionist.

Next, we must consider that perfectionism is a waste of time.

Why would one want to spend three days trying to perfect

one idea when you could have completed three ideas,

one each day, one day at a time, and those three ideas would be

good enough to please some of the people some of the time.

How you do the job is of no consequence, a left handed and a right handed

person usually attempt to do the same job by starting it at different angles,

just remember that the goal is to get the job done.

Even between two perfectionists there is room for a happy medium.

"Perfectionism is the enemy of creation,
as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being."   ~ John Updike 

Expectations become an important part of learning how to change

the bad habit of perfectionism.

Make your expectations realistic and attainable.

Lowering your expectations to make sure that you can succeed

is not a sign of imperfection in your character.

Succeeding at lesser goals usually means that you have just rearranged

your ultimate goal into smaller steps.

Perfectionism is a bad habit.

Anyone can break a habit.

Accept the new habit of peace and serenity in your life.

Accept that as one grows older, what is done is done, perfect or not.

Allow a Higher Power to select many goals and expectations to come

into your life so that you can do His/Her will.

A well rounded life that has attempted many things can be much more

rewarding than not succeeding at perfecting anything.

Life goes on, what was perfect yesterday is now perfect history

and today's expectations are in the hand of God.

Have faith that a perfect tomorrow will be given to those

that have been blessed by their Higher Power.

For those who want to live life perfectly today,

let us just say that we did.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Space

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The three dimensions:

distance, area and volume,

can be used when discussing

the word space,

but more important than these

is the dimension of time.

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The Dash Poem, by Linda Ellis

"I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years..."


The complete poem, "The Dash", tells the story of the most important space that exists,
the duration of our lives. Today is the most important time in that space. What we do
in the space of the next 24 hours may be all that we will be remembered by.
Will we be remembered as a good guy or a bad guy, or just as a person who did the
best they could within the space they occupied.

God will give us the chance, we must make the choice.

Hope, faith and good habits will place us in a dimension where we can be of service
to self, others and our Higher Power.

Hope is the thought, the wishes of our mind.

Faith is the belief, the heart of our desires.

Good habits are the soul that puts into action the doing of the will of a Higher Power.

The Spirit of the Universe is in control of the dimension beyond our comprehension,
our space needs to be occupied by doing the best we can to carry the message of a
loving God. Be kind, the space between making a good choice and a selfish one is
very small. Be loving, the space you fill in the hearts of others is directly proportional
to what you give. Be patient and tolerant of those whose time and space may be out of
control. Do not teach, do not preach, just be a good example to those who do not know
how to use their space wisely.

"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is
will occupy rent-free space in your mind."                       ~ Isabelle Holland


Have a friend, learn from those who make good choices, time and space are too valuable
to spend on the losers. Losers are those who refuse to change for the better. Do the best
you can within the space that you live, life is not a practice run, today is it, do the next
right thing and become a good habit, one that will have improved the world for all.

"Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute.
The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry,
And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours."               ~ Leo Buscaglia

Laugh, love and make sure your space is well occupied.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Distractions

. You create your own distractions

so that you do not have to face reality.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

drink alcohol to forget.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

gamble away the paycheck.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

engage with strange people.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

go shopping and buy things you do not need.

Do not like this, so you'll do this,

become obsessive compulsive with a hobby.

And the list of distractions goes on and on. There are times when we do the distracting habit

without thinking. There are times when the distraction becomes an addiction and you have

no control over where or when the distraction will take you.

Eventually you even forget the reason you sought out the distraction.

Maybe everything begins with hope, but it usually ends without it. It all ends in reality,

as you perceive reality to be. The perception of reality becomes so distorted by the

distraction you may not know what is real and what is a figment of your imagination.

Find a friend, someone from your family, someone you may have just met, someone

you trust, someone you do not mistrust, anyone who can listen, because when you begin

to honestly tell others of your woes, you will answer your own question of ,

"why am I so distracted from reality?"

"By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions,
one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination." ~ Christopher Columbus

You may fear reality if you have been distracted for too long. Fear is not knowing.

Learning is the first step to change. Pray to your Higher Power to give you the courage

to change. Have faith that your Higher Power wants only good for you.

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen"
(Hebrews 11:1).

Today, avoid the distractions. Today, face reality along with the help of a friend

and your Higher Power. Today, select a goal or destination that is fun and exciting.

Today, do not be distracted from doing the will of your Higher Power.

Be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant, be forgiving and be the person

God wants you to be.

May your troubles be less, your blessings more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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