Zero

. Because of the Spirit of the Universe,

which flows through us,

there is no zero.

There is always something;

a thought, a feeling, a soul,

that gives everyone and everything

the chance to be a part of this world.

Look at every morning as a zero, and learn to build up from there.

First, add onto your list the things you are grateful for,

the things that are freely given by a loving Higher Power.

Add to your list those things that you know you can do,

the talent and skills given to you by a Higher Power

so that you may do His will.

Things such as being kind to a friend.

Things such as being a loving family member, and remember,

if your blood family is no longer with you,

an extended family will work just as well.

Things such as providing for yourself and others

should always be on the list.

If you haven't noticed by now, you are not a zero.

Please note that everyone in the whole wide world awakes at zero every morning.

From zero to ... whatever, is a matter of choice;

choose how fast, but obey the speed laws, morally and ethically,

choose how far, but have a map so you do not get lost, emotionally,

choose how high, why not shoot for the moon, spiritually,

choose how low, spelunking and scuba are great adventures,

humbly, choose how much, always making sure there is enough to share.

"In truth, people can generally make time for what they choose to do;
it is not really the time but the will that is lacking." ~ Sir John Lubbock

Today, choose to have the will to do your best.

Today, let your best be the will of a loving Spirit of the Universe.

Today, be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant, be forgiving,

and be the person your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is knowing that you are not a zero.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

Ten

.

.

On a scale

of one to ten,

with ten being the best,

God said we are all tens.

.

.

Why should we argue with God's judgement

and become the judges of others character,

even when we know that our own character

may be less than the best.

We judge the character of others

so that we do not have to look

at our own eccentricities.

Guilt and shame are the result

of not doing the will of our Higher Power.

God does not hold grudges or keep score,

so why should we?

God gives us a chance to be a ten every day,

the choice is ours.

Be kind, smile at ten people today.

Be loving, tell someone in your life how special they are to you.

Be the ten your Higher Power wants you to be.

When all else fails, count to ten.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

.
ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

PurrrrrrFect

"Animals are reliable, many full of love,

true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal.

Difficult standards for people to live up to.” ~ Alfred A. Montapert

Why does man have to complicate everything.

Survival means being competitive, if you are a wild animal.

Civilization means to put away ones anger, jealousies,

and fear that someone may get more than they deserve.

Animals can be tamed and domesticated,

how about man??

Remember to do your best to promote

World Peace and Harmony today, act civilized.

Better yet , act like the person your dog thinks you are.

Love, Peace, and Goodwill among men, are not reserved

for seasonal celebrations.

It is nice to have, it is better to share.

If all you have to give today is love and kindness,

you are the richest person in the world.

Adopt the characteristics of your pet,

they have plenty of patience and tolerance for you.

Make your Higher Power the head of your house.

The unseen guest at every meal.

The silent listener to every conversation.

Laugh loudly, love deeply and do your best to make this a

PurrrrrrFect World.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

Sorry

Sorry, look the word up in the dictionary

and you will see two definitions.

Definition number one means to feel regret
for someone else.

You are sorry that their turtle died,

you feel regret for their not feeling well.

Definition number two is dirty, despicable,

filthy, and miserable,

as in the bum was a sorry sight.

When someone says they are sorry to me,

I usually agree with them (definition number two).

Yes you are a despicable, miserable, lying bag of dirt.

When dealing with an alcoholic or an addictive personality

the word sorry means that that person is being given permission

to repeat their bad habits.

Sorry Mom, I don't know what happened to the money.

Sorry Dad, I don't know how the car was dented.

Sorry Honey, I didn't remember it was the kids birthday party.

If I make a mistake today, and my wife allows me one mistake per year,

I have learned to apologize. A simple excuse me will usually suffice.

Sorry has become the most misused and abused word in the American vocabulary.

When the situation requires an apology look the other person in the eye

and with truth and conviction explain the errors of your ways.

Promise to yourself and the other person to behave like a real human being

in the future.

Please do not run to the dictionary to look up the definition of sorry.

I did use some literary license to make a moral point.

I hope the point was not missed.

Want to improve your memory??

Stop lying.

Friday Noon

.

Fifth month,

Fifth Step,

The Daily Reflections

reading for this date

quoted from the

Twelve and Twelve

about how necessary

to longtime sobriety

and peace of mind

it is to complete this step. .

.

Todays noon meeting of Let Go & Let Go group

took this reading and laughed their way through

the reflections of the character defects

that no one thought or knew that they had.

There were also a few remarks

in advance of Mother's Day where members

reflected on the patience of mothers and wives

who were kind enough to ignore the character defects.

As usual a great meeting

where all were grateful to be sober.

Many noted that there was real satisfaction

in working even the difficult steps four and five

when they were rewarded with a life

that was happy, joyous and free.

.

ME

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

Happy

Anniversary

to ME

4-28-1993 .

.

.

.

A week late posting...

The Tuesday Promises Meeting was celebration day,

the last Tuesday in the month and there were two celebrants,

ME and a young lady celebrating 28 years.

Since I was the younger in years celebrating

I was elected to tell my story first.

I only lied a little.

Funny thing, it was the same story I told the last time,

in sobriety I can now remember all of the lies I told.

I am glad I went first because the young ladies story

is very strong and it would have been a hard act

for me to follow.

Even though the group had heard our stories before

they were still very attentive and told us

that they were appreciative.

We had a larger than average attendance,

not too sure if it was the speakers

or the pizza and cake

that brought them to the meeting.

I am making a promise to get current on the meeting reports.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

Last Friday

.

Ate a cupcake,

where is my

will power ? ? ?

.

.

.

.

.

One of the things I have learned in the rooms of AA

is that alcoholic drinks are made from fermented sugars

and once you stop drinking alcoholic beverages

the mind continues to crave the sugar and many soon

discover that they have substituted a new bad habit

for the old one.

Craving sugar, carbohydrates, candy, donuts, cakes,

pasta, bread, becomes the new bad habit

and if not watched carefully weight gain

can become a bigger problem.

.

The "Steps We Take" Friday night's men's meeting

always reads a tradition on the last Friday of the month.

The tradition number corresponds to the month so this night

we read and discussed the Fourth Tradition.

The last Friday of the month is also sober anniversary

celebration night and as Jack was celebrating two years sober

we had cup cakes to celebrate. I ate two ...

.

There is no such thing as a bad meeting,

it is just that some meetings are better than others,

the Men's Friday night meeting never fails to be one of the best.

.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

Promises Group

.

.

Tuesday,

5:00 PM

Spring Hill,

Florida

.

.

.

Went to a meeting

and a bunch of drunks talked about

the fourth of the 9th step promises

found on pages 84 and 85 of the

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

.

"We will comprehend the word serenity

and we will know peace."

.

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly,

the group shared about when they first felt serene,

when they learned to quiet the noisy mind

and they found peace.

After doing the steps, mostly the fourth and fifth,

when the wreckage of the past was identified,

many first discovered peace and serenity.

For some it was following the ninth step,

when the amends were made,

when the guilt and shame were relieved

following the admission of errors

made while under the influence.

Many long timers noted that they

continue to come to meetings

because this is where they recharge their batteries,

where they connect with their program

and subsequently regain that feeling

of serenity and peace,

especially when life is throwing

lemons and bricks at them.

Love a good meeting, thanks to Bobby W. for chairing.

.

ME

.

.

.

.

..

Common Strivings

. "We recovered alcoholics

are not so much

brothers in virtue

as we are brothers

in our defects,

and in our common strivings

to overcome them."


.

Bill W. Letter, 1946

.

A funny thing happened at the men's Friday meeting,

a young lady showed up.

She accompanied a couple of young men

and since they all said that they needed a meeting

they were invited to participate in the meeting.

The topic was the last nine pages of the Twelfth Step.

As usual, the sage men of the fellowship shared

their experience, strength and hope on the topic

and most expressed their gratitude for sobriety,

the program and a loving Higher Power.

My friend Brian now has a drivers license

but has yet to secure some wheels.

No big deal, I enjoy his company as we talk recovery

before and after the meetings.

God bless and may all of your meetings be better ones.

.

Michael E.

.

.

.

.

..

No Ego's

. A whole month ? ? ?

Went to a bunch of meetings,

just forgot to post.

Friday, 4-3-15,

Step in the Right Direction,

men's meeting.

.

.

.

Brian has not yet had his drivers license reinstated

so it has been my pleasure to take him to some meetings.

The meeting topic was the Eleventh Step.

Following Friday's meeting he posed some typical questions;

what made this meeting so special ? ? ?

is it weird that I can feel the serenity in the room ? ? ?

why did I not hear any drunk-a-logs ? ? ?

There is no such thing as a bad meeting, it is just that

some meetings are better than others,

why is this a better meeting ? ? ?

The answers :

The men at this meeting are very serious about their recovery

and the smiles, the closed eyes, the nodding heads all add to

the sense of serenity which can almost be felt.

There are no egos.

The topic is the only thing discussed and living in today,

not drinking today and doing the next right thing

are the focus of everyone's message.

Today, wishing you a better meeting.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

The Whole Body Smile

 

Written a long time ago,

time to reprise, I need a smile.

 

The Whole Body Smile

Smile, it makes them wonder what you are up to.

No, not that smarmy, guilty looking grin that the Cheshire Cat wore

to help make Alice into the star she is today.

No, not that slight curvature of the corners of your mouth

that you force onto your face when the little old lady

pinches your cheek.

Yes, your real smile, the one that goes from the top of your

head all the way down to your toes, “the whole body smile.”

Never heard of it, don't know how to do it??

Just follow these simple instructions, these twelve easy steps:

1) Be happy:  It is an attitude, just do it.

2) Clear your brain of any activity:  (Like thinking) For most of us
there is no effort required, this is better known as our normal state of mind.

3) Open your eyes:  Sparkling, smiling, laughing eyes are beautiful to behold
and the wonder is how those smiling eyes see things more clearly.
Every day something new is born into this world.
Smile, God made it just for you to enjoy.

4) Shut your mouth:  You cannot hear when your mouth is moving,
nor can you smile when you mouth is moving.

5) Clean out your ears:  Listen closely to others and heed the word of God.
God has endowed man with the ability to make beautiful music,
learn to listen and listen to enjoy.

6) Relax.: Ever notice that the back of your neck is always tense,
bad habit, smiles make the stress go away.

7) Follow your heart:  Love enormously, love often and smile when you think of
those that you love. Remember that you may like things, you may enjoy things,
you may want things, but your only need is to love people, God and pets.

8) Hug everything, even trees: God has given you two arms and two hands
so that you may hold onto those things that make you smile, however,
we must remember that God’s will may take those things from us at anytime
and we must let go and learn to smile when we remember the good times.
Hand in hand we will do for each other what we cannot do alone
If you are holding my hand I cannot pick up a drink.

9) Trust your gut feelings: God has given you the intuitive instincts
to protect your feelings from being hurt.
Learn to smile when you say "I told you so."

10) Move out of the way: God has given you two legs to allow you
to motivate your body to places that are happy.
Go there.
Smile in anticipation while you are moving towards your happy destination,
and make the smile even larger when you have reached your goal.

11) Dance: God has given you two feet to celebrate the rest of your body.
Don't think about it, don't talk about it, see it, feel it, trust it,
listen to the music and move to the rhythm of God's earth.

12) Toes know: When your toes are happy,
you will know you have learned “the whole body smile.”

Smile, this is God's candid camera watching you do his will.

Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.

The Doctors orders are to repeat the process as often as necessary and share
with everyone whom you think would also benefit from “The Whole Body Smile.”

SMILE :)

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e    :)

Tuesdays Promises 4-3-15

The Promises Group

...

Tuesday @ 5:00

.

Ninth step promises,

#11 from page 84

of the Big Book.

.

We will intuitively

know how to handle

situations which used to

baffle us.

.

Great meeting as usual, lots of strength and hope

shared by all who participated.

The person who selected this promise related that

their sponsor had recently died but because of

what he learned in the rooms it was not a reason

to drink.

Many others who knew the deceased

praised his recovery and his example of how

the program should be lived.

Great to see a few new faces at the meeting.

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

Group Conscience

.

A day or two behind;

Friday, noon at Cabrini

and the usual souls

were in attendance,

give or take a few.

.

The topic bounced

but it was mainly based on the

daily readings and of course

not drinking one day at a time.

.

The Daily Reflections topic was how the group conscience

kept A. A. on track and what the role of the long timer,

the elder statesmen and stateswomen, was in making

sure that the groups primary purpose did no waver.

Some less than humble long timers had something to say,

most of the long timers just sat quietly and nodded their heads.

.

Saturday ; 1;00 PM on Century Drive,

Just the core group and the discussion was

mainly focused on the miracles that recover.

Where were the new comers ???

also took some discussion time,

attraction rather than promotion,

court appointed, drugs,

the demographics of living in Florida

where there are lots of older

and long time fellowship members.

.

Just keep coming back ...

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

Saturday

February 21, 2015

1: 00  PM

.

.

.

.

A friend has recently started

a Saturday afternoon meeting.

A few of us are showing up regularly however,

more support will be needed to keep the meeting going.

.

It only takes two to have a meeting

and we were fortunate to have more than a few attend.

.

Great meeting with the topic of "One day at a time"

The sharing related stories when, as new comers,

the thought was not drinking one day at a time

and as the twenty four hours passed the program

worked its magic the thoughts become how to live

a life doing the will of a Higher Power

one day at a time.

Everyone shared positive messages

of experience, strength and hope.
.

Keep coming back ...

.

ME and the Boss

.

.

.

.

..

.

,

.

Friday, 2-20-15

Noon Meeting

.

.

.

.

.

Chilly winter day, television sucks, and I

have these thoughts that need to find a home.

Had an idea and the result is going to be

a few comments on the meeting (s)

that I attend, on the day I attend them.

Todays reading from the Daily Reflections

talked about the laughter found at a meeting

and the group held to this as a topic.

This is a regular meeting for me because

this group may find a topic but the underlying theme

is always about not drinking one day at a time,

the main reason I go to a meeting.

The main idea was that the happy, joyous and free

members have learned to laugh with each other,

not at each other.

We shared the silly, stupid things that we did while

we were drinking and the inane thoughts we used

to justify, deny our behaviors and we all laughed.

Great meeting.

There is no such thing as a bad meeting,

it is just that some meetings are better than others,

today was one of the best.

.

ME

Gratitude

. Just a note while I ponder doing some yard work. . GRATITUDE . Thanks to a Higher Power and the rooms of AA I have a yard to ponder. I also have a life that is happy, joyous and free, a life where the choices I make today are mine. Prior to AA all choices were made for me by my disease. Where to go, when to go, who to go with, and the why was always to find alcohol and drink it in a place, with people, where I would not feel any guilt or shame for drinking the way my diseases wanted me to drink, and that was alcoholically. Following the suggestions I still attend meetings and the benefits I receive from the fellowship are many. The two most important benefits are lessons learned from the long timers on how to become a long timer and the lessons from the newcomer who point out the obvious, a drunk who drinks too much will usually find a lot of trouble, if trouble doesn't find him first. Time to go trim the lawn, God is good, all of the time. . Love, hugs and blessings... ME and the Boss . . . . ..

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #12

Normally an introduction outlines the

objective of a series and then the articles

proceed to elaborate on the more

significant points that are to be made.

 However, since most drunks do not listen,

can not listen, do not know how to listen,

the last article in this series will provide a

recap of the previous articles and

re-emphasize, stress, and highlight the

more important suggestions on how to

educate a drunk.

Alcoholism and addiction are a disease

that has a negative social stigma attached to

them, therefore, very little money is spent

in research to find a cause or cure for the disease, nor is social program/insurance money

spent to provide treatment for the affected.

Treatment is restricted to the very rich or those who are fortunate enough to have insurance coverage.

 Treatment covered by insurance is usually limited to 28 days or less, barely enough time to detoxify the drunk, and definitely not enough time to change the behaviors to a level where long term sobriety can be expected.

Currently the most optimistic of statistics indicate that roughly 25% of patients treated at the most prestigious recovery centers will stay drink free and sober for one year.

The pessimist in Alcoholics Anonymous, those who have been around for some time, will estimate that of all alcoholics who seek recovery by any method, only 5 to 15% will achieve long term sobriety.

It is estimated that 10% of the world’s population is affected by the disease of addictive thinking. The
disease not only includes alcoholism but also drug addiction, (street as well as prescribed), anorexia,
bulimia, obesity, sex, gambling, work, spending, or any obsessive-compulsive behavior that impairs
the physical and/or mental health of those affected.

In the United States, where treatment is available, it is estimated that 10% of that 10% will be subjected to treatment at least once in their lifetime. The remaining 90% are left free to roam about in society, to fill the jails, fill the hospitals ,overflow the institutions, live under the bridge, live in the streets, and become  a well know name and address to the local police.

Incarceration is not a form of treatment.

Very, very,  few county or state correctional institutions provide treatment for addictive thinking.

They, the elected officials, the administration, the employers, the for profit insurance companies rarely care, they do not understand, nor do they want to understand and above all, the budget cannot be justified to warrant the expenditure.

As was noted in every preceding article, the cardinal issue in recovery is;

“If the affected does not want to change, nothing will change.”

When an affected person seeks to change their physical and mental condition they may voluntarily request help. Some affected are persuaded to seek treatment by family, the courts or the Doctor who is treating associated symptoms. For whatever the reason or circumstance, when a person arrives in treatment, the ride, the journey, the experience will be unique. Everyone in this world is different and treatment for every alcoholic/addict must be different, custom made to fit the individual’s sick mind.

Alcoholism is a fatal disease; alcohol poisoning or detoxification (withdrawal) can be fatal. Detoxification outside of a medical center must be closely monitored and if the affected should experience physical difficulties a plan should be in place to seek immediate medical assistance. Even better, seek a medical evaluation before the drying out process is started.

Alcoholism is a family disease. When an affected alcoholic/addict decides to stop drinking or drugging the family needs to be involved in the development of a recovery program. In many cases the family may have to revise their own program of living because they too will need to adapt to living a different lifestyle.

Honesty, Open minded, and Willingness, are HOW it works.

Getting an alcoholic to be honest is often a difficult, long and tedious process.

The family can help the therapist by providing their perspective of the alcoholic’s behaviors.

Open minded acceptance of the truths that will be exposed during early recovery will be required

of both the alcoholic/addict and those they affected.

History can be an ugly enemy of the sick.

There are many people who could be rich if they had one dollar for every time they said,

“I can’t believe you did that.”

The addict/alcoholic will never be rich because he spent all the families’ money on drugs, alcohol,

lawyers, auto repairs, fines, rehabs, etc, and he will believe he did whatever you said he did,

because he can’t remember.

It is a miracle.

When the recovered no longer have the physical compulsion to drink or drug and the mental obsession to drink or drug has been lifted, it is the first small miracle in the recovery journey.

(The first two stages of the six stage model of recovery.)

When the brain of the affected begins to work again, the need for change is put into a new plan for daily living. A program for living is developed, one that does without the excuses, the need to stuff feelings, and other bad habits that were a part of the addictive lifestyle.

The wreckage of the past is identified and responsibly disposed of by making a list of negative feelings and moral lapses and sharing them with another person and with a newly found Higher Power.

(The third stage of the six stage model of recovery.)

As the recovering alcoholic/addict enters the middle recovery stage they make amends

for past indiscretions and develop a normal balanced lifestyle.

Attendance at many meetings or therapy or both and having a sponsor are strongly suggested.

Change is still an integral part of the drunk’s lives as good new habits are slowly developed.

(The fourth stage of the recovery model.)

The late recovery stage is identified by the work that is done to identify family of origin issues and inner child perceptions that contributed to the denial system of the alcoholic/addict. In this article there was also a short discussion of partial recovery. Not included in the body of this work are abandonment issues that are common, real and/or perceived, in the lives of many addicts/alcoholics. There are many studies and more than a few books which cover this issue and this outline could not do justice to the implications that abandonment has on the psyche of the addictive personality.

Professional help is highly recommended for the individual with strong abandonment issues.

(The fifth stage of the six stage model of recovery.)

The final stage of the six stage model of recovery is the Maintenance Stage.

At this point in recovery the life of the recovered person is not focused on the work of establishing a new lifestyle but rather it is on the enjoyment that the new lifestyle offers. The outline for daily living has been replaced with good habits that are no longer work but are a joy to experience.

There are friends at meetings who care about their well being.

The addict/alcoholic no longer drives like Mario Andretti, flipping birds, cutting people off, or being a menace to society. They no longer have to think about not going to liquor stores, the beer aisle in the

grocery store, bars, clubs and old neighborhoods, they just don’t go there.

Prayer and meditation are a routine, not a place to hide during emergencies.

Most have learned that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

They learn that constructive criticism can lead to wonderful changes in attitudes.

They have established methods to monitor for relapse warning signs, to cope with stuck points in recovery and to continue to grow and develop in all areas of life.

Spiritual retreats, AA conventions and conferences and any number of learning experiences are used for enjoyment as well as to provide benefits for developing a better lifestyle.

The alcoholic/addict who has reached this stage of recovery knows

that a Higher Power has given them the chance, and they have made the choice, to live life

"one day at a time",        and to be of good service to self, others and their Higher Power.

If you don’t pick up the first drink, you will not get drunk.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #11

It now has been a few years without a drink or drug but the work is still not complete.

To recap the progress made to date;

a problem was recognized,

a conscious effort was made to seek help,

and one day at a time

there has been no drinking or drugging. 

A program was developed in therapy and/or borrowed from AA or some other treatment program to change the old habits into a new lifestyle that does not include drinking or drugging.

The program also teaches responsibility and accountability and the alcoholic/addict returns to being a productive member of the family and the community.

Grandiosity has been replaced by humility and the drunk understands that a power greater than himself was responsible for the drunk finding recovery.

Those who chose the twelve step program of AA have successfully completed all of the steps; some may have done so more than once.

With the first four stages of the recovery model completed we are now ready to explore the remaining two steps, the late recovery stage and the maintenance stage.

The late recovery stage is a time for developing awareness of and overcoming obstacles to healthy living that developed in early childhood, long before the first drink or drug was ever taken. My readings, my trainings and my first hand experience have lead me to believe that the brain of the addict alcoholic is not normal. Many of the brain receptors in the alcoholic brain are reversed, what else would explain why a person would ingest poison and claim to enjoy it.

There are a few abnormal characteristics, that when they appear in children, tend to indicate that the individual is predisposed to addiction/alcoholism.

            1). Demonstrative mood swings that are not related to the environmental  stimulus’s. At the
                              birthday party they are sad and depressed, while at Granddad’s funeral they are
                              laughing, joking, loud and obnoxious
            2). Addictive personalities have tempertantrums; demonstrate rage and uncontrolled anger
                              even when they get what they want.
            3). The child appears to be unaware of consequences. They do irrational things  without fear 

                             of reprisal.          

            4). The child is self centered and shows no empathy for others needs

                        or feelings. They demand complete control and do not play well

                        with others. They must always be the leader and the games are

                        played by their rules. When they are losing, the game is over.

            5). Children with addictive personalities tend to consume or want to

                        consume large quantities of sugar.

            6). Children with addictive personality disorders tend to lie for no

                        apparent reason.

            7). The child has no fear or their fears are exaggerated phobias caused

                         by no apparent or logical reason. Trying to educate them to see

                         the unreasonableness of their behaviors is nearly impossible.

                         They may eventually grow out of this stage of their life, or they

                         become better at hiding unnatural behaviors.

            8). Obsessive/compulsive behaviors are evident early in the child’s

                        development. Good, bad or indifferent, the child repeats certain

                         actions or activities over and over, with no apparent reason to do so.

            9). The addictive/alcoholic personality is predisposed to misconceptions and misperceptions.

                        They hear want they want to hear and they believe what they thought they heard     

The latter characteristic is the one that is usually the last hurdle to be recognized
and changed by the alcoholic.

Recovery for the addictive personality is closely related to the ability to deal with and dispense of childhood misperceptions and misconceptions. The misperceptions of childhood, many of which are lying deep in the subliminal depths of the brain, are often suppressed by fear and anxiety. There is often emotional pain involved with recall of emotional childhood memories. Many addictive personalities are advised to seek professional help before they just dive into the emotional cesspool of the addictive mind.

The fun in dys”fun”ctional was put there by the drunk.

Whether the family was functional or dysfunctional is sometimes clouded by the misperceptions of the addictive/ alcoholic mind, the alcoholic mind that tends to reverse circumstances to suit their own agenda.

It is always easy for the alcoholic to blame someone else for their emotional shortcomings.

Justifiable anger, extreme guilt and shame, blaming self for marital difficulties of the parents, feeling
guilt about the death of family, friends or pets, misunderstanding of sexual roles, are but a few of the childhood misconceptions harbored in the subconscious of the addictive brain.

During the drinking career these subliminal, misunderstood feelings, were a reason to drink.
Left unresolved or put into proper context these feelings may drive the alcoholic to drink again, even after many years of abstinence.           

The analogy that may help one to understand how this works is to compare a inappropriate feeling (guilt, shame anger, fear) to a wound on the skin of ones arm.

Eventually a scab will form on the wound to signifying that healing has begun.
The alcoholic can not leave well enough alone, they must constantly pick at the scab.
This constant picking causes the pain and bleeding to continue, forever and forever.
This analogy works for events and feelings that are obvious to everyone, even the alcoholic.
To continue the analogy, the deep seated emotional pains in the deepest, subliminal part of the mind are compared to a cancer that eats away at the soul.
There is no visible wound, there is no scab; there is only invisible deep rooted pain and suffering.

The inner child, the soul searching, the healing of the ego and the id are very, very complicated.
The complication is in the warped mind of the affected.

The myriad of questions to be asked include;

             Did it or did it not happen?

            Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

            Am I minimizing the account of this event?

            Is that what they truly meant?

            Is that what I really wanted?

            Could anything have been done differently?

            Did they or I know any better?

            Who was under the influence of what when this occurred?

           

The questions go on and on but the answers are rarely complete or to be proved. The proverbial
onion is peeled away exposing the inner core of the soul. The only recourse is to continue to ask
the questions, re-live the incidents and resolve to put closure on the feelings that disrupt the serenity
and the mental well being of the affected.

The real answer always becomes: it was God’s will for us and we must be stronger for having survived.

To dwell in the cesspool of negative feelings, guilt, blame and shame is a choice, just as it is a

conscious decision to live in the present and enjoy a life that is happy, joyous and free. 
A life that is guaranteed to the recovering individual who turns their will and their life over to
the Higher Power of their understanding.

A loving God who protects us all.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #10

One model of recovery that follows the development of a typical recovering

addict/ alcoholic is divided into six stages

or steps in the recovery process.

It must again be stressed that recovery is a
process, not an event that can be documented,
and the process is ongoing for the remainder
of the alcoholic’s life.

Recovery is a process of growth, learning how
to live without mood altering substances, and
can be measured by the completion of certain
life tasks.

As recovery unfolds and progresses the recovery task to be met by the affected will change

according to the needs of their every day life.

The preceding articles in this series covered the first three stages in the developmental model
of recovery. The pre treatment, stabilization and early recovery stages were discussed in enough
detail to hopefully allow the reader to understand the basics of the very difficult and complex
subject, which is recovery.

If the first three stages of recovery have been completed by the alcoholic/addict

with some degree of success being noted, the recovered person will have reached
the middle recovery stage.

(Special note: the affected individual is the only one who can and must admit that they
have a problem, you cannot lable anyone as an alcoholic/addict, no matter how right
you think you are.)

There is no time frame for the stages to be completed or arrived at.

Some recovering people will complete the first three stages within a month or a year,
others may take a lifetime.

The middle recovery stage is reached when the new lifestyle becomes balanced.

Promises are made and kept.

The affected now understands that they are responsible for their actions, thoughts and feelings.

The repairing of the damage to self and others is being worked upon.. 

Recovery at this stage is still not always made in a constant forward motion or in forward progress.

There are times when life events are still able to make the alcoholic revert to old behaviors.

Hopefully, two steps forward and only one step back, will eventually get the alcoholic to
the last two stages.

The alcoholic, who is using the twelve step program, after any step, may run into an emotional
road block that will prevent further progress to be made in their recovery journey. They may give
lip service to the step they are working, but within their heart and soul they are harboring reservations
that will halt progress.

Clinically the term “Partial Recovery” is used for the addict/alcoholic who fails to complete the
recovery process.

Although this event, partial recovery, can happen during the first three stages of the recovery model,
it is much more prevalent and easier to diagnose in the middle stage of recovery.
Most common during the first three stages, the alcoholic will relapse because they are addicted,
physically and mentally, and drinking is the most natural thing to do.
In the midle stage of recovery, emotional relapses are much more common reason for the drunk
to drink, the abuser to use.

Some old habits are harder to break than others.

Partial recovery is usually precipitated by a recovery task that seems impossible. To many alcoholics
who use the AA twelve steps, step 4, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,”
is a task that brings instant fear and trepidation to the drunk/abuser.

The writers of the steps compared the moral inventory to a business inventory in that it is to be a
fact-finding, fact-facing, and a truthful look at the character of the alcoholic/addict. Just as the business inventory is to identify damaged goods that need to be discarded, the moral inventory is used to
identify a flawed thinking process that leads to resentment, fear, guilt and remorse. The same flawed
thinking that justified the drinking habits. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, the anonymous author
goes into specific details as to why the flawed thinking must be corrected if the alcoholic is to recover.
Also included in the chapter “How It Works”, is an outline to guide the recovered person in doing
this step. Simple and precise, completed with the aid of a sponsor, the completion of the fourth step
is vital if the recovering person wishes to proceed to the middle recovery stage. In subsequent writings
from one of the founders of AA, "As Bill Sees It" more details are available to assist the recovering
alcoholic to clear the wreckage of their past.

Denial is another problem that can be a cause of partial recovery. Denial blocks awareness that
something may be wrong with the thinking or actions of the alcoholic. Denial, fear, and procrastination
cause stress. Stress may trigger or intensify Post Acute Withdrawal Symptom in the recovering alcoholic/addict.

The symptom is an unusually strong craving to drink, or use drugs, that appears suddenly and
without obvious provocation.

The cause is a brain dysfunction caused by alcohol poisoning and drug abuse.

This brain dysfunction has been documented in 75% to90% of tested alcoholics.

Normally, PAWS is most common within the first weeks of recovery, however, 

studies indicate that it usually takes 6 to 24 months for the nervous system damage to heal.

Complete healing is not a guarantee.

Many addicts/alcoholics have damaged their brain to the extent that permanent damage is obvious
by memory loss, impaired reasoning ability and/or the ability to learn new concepts.

“Wet Brain,” is a term used to describe those alcoholics who have damaged their brain to a point
where they can no longer function in society and must be institutionalized for the remainder of their
lives.

Healing can only be accomplished with the assistance of a healthy recovery program
.

One drink or drug reverses the healing process immediately. 

Even Doctor prescribed medications can cause serious reversals in the recovery process and the pharmacology for the dual diagnosed is a area of study that is in constant review.

When the recovered person becomes consciously aware of the pain caused by stress, loss of
control and fear, they are usually able to reactivate their recovery program and progress towards
stable recovery is once again commenced.

Progress is usually made to an emotional place where the suffering again hit the "stuck point"
and unless there is a decisive and willing change in thinking the relapse cycle could repeat over
and over again.

Because the disease of alcoholism is progressive the relapses always become worse as they occur.

The drunk/addict needs more and more to achieve the same affects. The amount of time to recover
becomes longer and longer.

The saying among the recovered in AA is:

 “We know that there is always another drunk in us,

but we cannot ever be sure that we have another recovery in us.” 

Middle recovery is also identifiable by the fact that the recovering person is now focused

on normal life issues rather than focusing on not drinking or using drugs.

Most importantly, middle recovery includes growing in spirituality and finding a meaning

and purpose for living.

The road to recovery is still not paved over and smoothed out.

There are many potholes remaining in the recovery road that may cause relapses.

The late recovery stage of the recovery model will explore those issues that lurk in the deepest
part of the mind and soul of every recovering alcoholic/addict.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e