Hot Peppers

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Life is not a complete garden salad

until you add a little spice of life to the mix.

 Most garden salads begin with the basic

lettuce, some green, some red, twenty

or more varieties because we are not

all the same, or maybe just your basic spinach.

Add the cucumbers, the onions, the carrots,

the green peppers, and a few stale croutons

if you must, and, wa la, a salad.

Salad dressings are like a religion, some people need them, and some people don't.

 Again, choosing a salad dressing or choosing a religion, is often a matter of ethnic

and cultural heritage. When in Rome, do as the Romans, mostly Caesar and mostly Catholic.

 To the English dressing is yogurt and the Church of England. To the French, it is French

dressing and a mix of religions. As we go around the world, Ranch, Thousand Island,

Roquefort, Terriyaki sauce, Hot bacon dressing, or whatever your Mom made for you,

your choice in salad greens, salad dressings and religions is most often a family thing.

 Comfort is good, but variety is the spice of life. Today, get out the cook book and find

a new salad and a new salad dressing. Today, get out the encyclopedia and learn about

one different religion. What you will learn is that food is food, all around this world, and

it is all God given. What you will learn is that religion is religion, all around this world,

 and it is all God given. Today, understand that just because different people have different

 taste in salads, they do not have to be enemies.

 Today, understand that just because different people have different religions, they do not

have to be enemies. Mean and ignorant people make enemies, not religions or salads.

 Today, be kind to your enemies, after all, you made them.

 Today, be kind, not mean, and try a different lettuce in your bowl.

 Today, be loving, and look for a different salad dressing to put on your salad.

 Today, be patient and tolerant, educating the mean people appears to be a daunting

task since many of the teachers are politicians and preachers.

 Today, religion aside, be the person that your Higher Power wants you to be.

 Today, let the love of your Higher Power spice up your soul. 

Happiness is having a taste for the unusual.

 Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Divine

Humility is the ladder to divine understanding.

There is a Higher Power and it is not you or me.

"But those who are ignorant of the truth do not
think that these prophets are to be believed; for they say that those voices are not divine, but human." ~ Lactantius

Even though I am not God, I believe that every

action and every word of every person who has

lived or is living, me included, are the words

and actions of a Higher Power who is the

very soul of every being, and the soul of every thing that fills this universe.

Even the void of space has the energy of the Spirit of the Universe passing through it.

A Divine being talks to me through other people...

So now that I have made you God, what are you going to do with your divinity??

"The choice that you, as a Soul, have in relation to anything is always to be loving.
Do you understand that this is the divine purpose that all of us as humans have been given -
to love unconditionally?" ~ John Morton

Be kind, you may be the only conscious contact that another person may have with

their Higher Power today. Do not let your divinity go to your head, motives are choices

 that a Higher Power gives you, chose to love with your heart, not your head.

Be loving, your soul grows stronger and brighter as you share your love, your hopes

and dreams. Where do you think the saint's halos come from??

Halos are the brilliance's of a kind and loving soul shining through and around their

earthly bodies. Balance your divinity with your humility. Give your Higher Power the

credit for your good deeds. If you chose to be a mean, selfish, ugly and nasty person,

take all the credit for yourself.

"Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit,
not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose.
From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do
know that man is here for the sake of other men." ~ Albert Einstein

Today, be the divine person your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is using your divinity wisely.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Buttons

. Button, button, who has the button ???

I remember the name of the game from

when we played it in elementary school,

but I can't remember the rules

or how one was a winner or loser.

However, these are not the buttons

that I am referring to in the title of this article.

What I would like to discuss are the emotional buttons that most people have,

at least those bodies that are conscious and alive.

As a drunk I loved my buttons, they were the excuses needed to get pissed off

and go stomping off to the bar where I knew there were people who understood me

and where button pushing was an art, a science, to be used and abused for the

entertainment of one and all.

Then I found the rooms of AA and two things were pointed out to me:

1.) An alcoholic does not need an excuse to drink. An alcoholic drinks because he has to,

his body, mind and soul are under the addictive influence of alcohol and the obsession

and compulsion to drink are causes which the alcoholic has no control over.

2.) The buttons are mine and how I react is my responsibility, my choice.

Good  button, Bad button.

The bad buttons are anger, jealousy, envy, grandiosity, know-it-all ism, and just

about every negative emotion that one can think of.

These buttons control the gate, the door, the curtain, the window dressing of who I really am.

My disease of alcholism wants me to isolate, be alone, push away anyone who loves me

and to ultimately kill myself.

The bad buttons are the best defense for hinding the me that I could no longer identify.

The good buttons are attitudes of kindness and unconditional love the people who

are in control of their emotions display all day, every day.

Good buttons establish boundries that keep one from being used and abused.

The good buttons generate compassion and forgiveness, no more need to hide,

no more need to lie, cheat and steal.

Today, do not push the buttons of the sick and suffering, be a good example

and show how a faith in a Higher Power can allow one to display only the healthy

buttons, can lead one on a pathway of sobriety that is happy, joyous and free.

Today, display your God button for all to see and know that the grace of the

Spirit of the Universe is how the alcoholic/addict achieves sobriety.

Happiness is a button (attitude) of gratitude.

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ME and the Boss

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Incidence

. It is not a coincidence,

it is a God incidence,

 and the answer is always there.

Even before you thought to pray,

as soon as you thought to pray,

some time after you have prayed,

the answer will be given,

in God's time, not yours.

God knows when you are ready to receive the message.

Even if you miss the message the first twenty two times, God will continue to send

you messages of His will until you finally see the way. Every morning in your daily

readings, good book, bad book, newspaper, boob tube, internet or just by having the

fool driver in front of you stop in the middle of the road, for no apparent reason,

God is sending you answers to your prayers, even the prayers not spoken.

Slow down, enjoy life, be happy, spread the joy, be kind, be loving, be the good person

your Higher Power wants you to be.

"This week I encourage you to stop playing "my life would be perfect if," and start
playing "my perfect life." What's the difference? Three things: being in the present,
an attitude of gratitude, taking action with what's available now." ~ Betty Mahalik

Have an attitude of gratitude. Everyone is perfect, just the way a Higher Power wants

them to be, so that they can better do His will, that is unless you have decided that today

you are going to be God's critic and you are going to establish the parameters for what

is or is not perfect.

Good luck.

It is no coincidence when two people become friends,  lovers, soul mates or the mates

luck, miracle
from hell, God had his fingers in the incident.

"There is nothing more admirable than two people who see eye-to-eye keeping house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies, and delighting their friends." ~ Homer

A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous,

a God incidence which we must accept, do not look for the whys and wherefores,

enjoy the lesson, let God be God and let you be you.

Happiness is knowing that there are no coincidences, only God incidences.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

Friendship

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"Remember,
we all stumble,
every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort
to go hand in hand."

~ Emily Kimbrough

Gratitude for friends is a happy

way to start your day.

Who taught you your A B C 's?

Who played with you on the playground?

Who carried your books for you when you hurt your arm?

Who did you hang out with after school?

Remember your teammates? The people in the band were cool friends.

School's out, Memories past, Don't ever doubt, Our friendship will last.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile,

make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.

Friendships come and go, people move on, move up, move out.

C'est la vie.

If you have never had a friend it is because you did not want one.

"A friend is a present you give to yourself." Robert Louis Stevenson

Friendship is not a serious commitment that will choke you and cause you to lose yourself.

That is called marriage. Unless you married your best friend. This day I will marry my friend,

the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love. Two lives, two hearts joined together in

friendship united forever in love.

"A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue."
~ Russian Proverb

Real friends agree to disagree. Guess that is what makes a spouse a really true friend.

Friendship is a sometimes communication that will benefit everyone. A good friend

will encourage you and help you grow. A good friend will be beside you in times of woe.

To have a good friend you must be a good friend. Listen, when it is your turn. This is

why pets make such great friends, they only listen and they always agree with you.

"There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child."
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Faith, your Higher Power will never allow you to be friendless. You may meet that person

only once, but a shared kindness will make you friends forever. Just be a friend until the

next time we meet, and if we never meet again, thanks for being there then.

Have gratitude, be a friend.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Unique

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  The one and only,

the sole soul,

not somewhat unique,

not very unique,

but just uniquely you.

Unique is the chance

that a Higher Power gives everyone, every day.

What you do with that chance is your choice.

We all are expected to do the will of a Higher Power; be kind, be loving,

be the person God wants us to be. How uniquely we do His will is our chance

to make a choice. Whatever skills and talents, energies or resources that we may

have been given by our Higher Power are more than adequate for us to do a

unique thing to make this world a better place.

"The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry.
And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is uniquely yours." ~ Leo Buscaglia

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Similar is not the same as.

Your happiness is the will of a Higher Power

giving you a unique chance to help make this world a better place.

Happiness is liking yourself.

"The more you like yourself,
the less you are like anyone else,
which makes you unique." ~ Walt Disney

Spirituality is your unique contact with your Higher Power.

Your spirituality is learning to identify yourself. You are not a parent, a spouse,

a job, a relationship, a career, you are a unique person whom your Higher Power

has given the opportunity to do His will. Faith is your ability to believe in God's

goodness and grace and His predetermined unique purpose for your life.

A positive attitude searches out and celebrates the unique.

Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.

Happiness is knowing how unique you are.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Under That Tree

I just read a post written

(and very well I might add)

by a teacher who wondered about the child

who did not join in with the others during

outdoor recess, but chose to stand under

a lone tree in the yard. The writer attempted

to surmise why one would choose to not

join the others and some of the suppositions

were almost accurate, however, I know the deep seated reason

because I was one who stood under the tree.

There is a minority of people in this world whose brains are on backwards,

"The Kindred Spirits of the Backward Brain," and their minds are always racing

and making unjustified and unwarranted suppositions that were never true, but,

to the backward brain they made sense. No one likes me, I am not good enough,

what if I fail, trip, can't keep up, they'll laugh at me, negative, negative, negative

and the tree understands. The tree does not judge, the tree doesn't care, the tree

provides a perfect place to hide, and the tree and I know the truth.

The truth is that there is a neurological malfunction in the brain that does not permit

the proper transmission or reception of  the chemicals in the brain.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity disorder, Obsessive Compulsive, extrovert, introvert,

to a level where the daily expected routines and social interactions are disrupted.

The addictive personality, I'll show you, I'll kill myself with posion, alcohol, drugs,

food, work, sex, or any other form of instant gratification that comes down the pike

is the usual pathway that the troubled mind follows.

One is to many and a thousand are never enough.

They isolate, but when the do join in it is the bizarre, the occult, the shock value to

the norm that helps their infiority complex justify its existence.

Let us all get peircings, tattoos, wear black and pretend that we are all different

while all the time we are screaming for inclusion into this world,

knowing we can't see the forest for the tree.

Science and medicine are daily finding out more on how the brain functions, which

areas of the brain control which survival functions, pleasure centers, eating triggers,

aging and which chromosones  will genetically predisposition  one to become a part

of the lost ten percent, the kindred spirits of the backward brain.

Love, patience, tolerance, forgiveness and a willingness to look past the tree

have allowed many of the lost to find their way, however, anger and hate are

still a part of our DNA and much more needs to be studied until a true cure is found.

Today, do your part to put the fun in dys"FUN"ction, hug a tree.

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ME and the Boss

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http://swervingforbutterflies.com/2012/10/17/466/
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Perfectionism

  Who are we to think

that we can compete with God.

We might think that something

is or is not perfect, but what a

Higher Power knows will be

the last word.

"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best.
It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves,
the part that tells us that nothing we do
will ever be good enough -
that we should try again."   ~ Julia Cameron

First we must consider that perfect is a relative word.

Everyone has a different perspective on what is perfect.

You cannot please all the people all the time and remember

to include yourself in that number.

Secondly, anything we do is good enough, unless someone

else is paying you to do something different.

Sometimes it becomes impossible to work for the perfectionist.

Next, we must consider that perfectionism is a waste of time.

Why would one want to spend three days trying to perfect

one idea when you could have completed three ideas,

one each day, one day at a time, and those three ideas would be

good enough to please some of the people some of the time.

How you do the job is of no consequence, a left handed and a right handed

person usually attempt to do the same job by starting it at different angles,

just remember that the goal is to get the job done.

Even between two perfectionists there is room for a happy medium.

"Perfectionism is the enemy of creation,
as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being."   ~ John Updike 

Expectations become an important part of learning how to change

the bad habit of perfectionism.

Make your expectations realistic and attainable.

Lowering your expectations to make sure that you can succeed

is not a sign of imperfection in your character.

Succeeding at lesser goals usually means that you have just rearranged

your ultimate goal into smaller steps.

Perfectionism is a bad habit.

Anyone can break a habit.

Accept the new habit of peace and serenity in your life.

Accept that as one grows older, what is done is done, perfect or not.

Allow a Higher Power to select many goals and expectations to come

into your life so that you can do His/Her will.

A well rounded life that has attempted many things can be much more

rewarding than not succeeding at perfecting anything.

Life goes on, what was perfect yesterday is now perfect history

and today's expectations are in the hand of God.

Have faith that a perfect tomorrow will be given to those

that have been blessed by their Higher Power.

For those who want to live life perfectly today,

let us just say that we did.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Assumptions

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I have the vanity,

pretentiousness,

the arrogance,

to believe that anything I say

is a fact or a statement

that should be taken

for granted as being true.

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I assume that you know how important I think I am.

I assume that I know what your motives are.

I assume that I know the will of a Higher Power.

I should know that the more I assume, the more stupid I appear to be.

The only accurate assumption is that things will change.

"Sometimes, things are predictable to a definitive fact,
provided you do not let the arrogance of assumption
cloud your assuredness."                                                   ~ Carl Stoynoff

Today, I will assume that what I believe to be fact could be wrong.

"One of the prevailing sources of misery and crime is in the generally
accepted assumption, that because things have been wrong a long time,
it is impossible they will ever be right."                                                     ~ John Ruskin

Today, I will assume that things will change.

Today, I will assume that if I do the will of a Higher Power, things will be right.

Assume that everyone needs your kindness.

Assume that everyone deserves your unconditional love.

Assume that patience and tolerance will resolve conflict.

Assume that forgiveness will heal all wounds.

Assume that you can be the person your Higher Power expects you to be.

Happiness is not having to assume.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Guilt

. Creating guilt is not strictly reserved

for Jewish mothers.

"My mother should have been Jewish.
She could have taught a class on how
to induce guilt." ~ Lorna Luft

The cause of guilt is not how others make

us feel, but how we feel about others.

People pleasers are always feeling guilty.

People who are happy and content with

their relationship with their Higher Power

rarely feel guilt.

Trying to manipulate others by causing them to feel guilt and shame

is a mean and nasty thing to do.

What was the offense and how grievous was it?

Guilt is not an error of omission, it is an error of commission.

If you were never informed and it happened in spite of you,

you do not have to feel guilty.

Never feel guilty about learning something new.

Even an old dog can learn new tricks, if they want to.

If you meant to do it and it was the next right thing to do,

have no feelings of guilt and remorse.

If you meant to do it and it harms someone or something,

you are guilty.

You can never take back a stone that was thrown or an unkind word that was said.

"We are sinful not only because we have eaten
of the Tree of Knowledge, but also because we
have not yet eaten of the Tree of Life.
The state in which we are is sinful,
irrespective of guilt."                                              ~ Franz Kafka

Know that guilt pains the soul and learn to use that knowledge to help you

choose to do the next right thing.

"Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't." ~ Alan Cohen

Today, find a friend who will teach you how to achieve serenity and will do so

without causing you guilt or shame.

Today, keep a conscious contact with a Higher Power and know that

by doing His will there can be no guilt.

Today, think positive, be kind, be loving, be forgiving and be the person

your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is not being guilty.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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P.S. - Lorna Luft's mother was Judy Garland.
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Fog

. The fog comes on little cat feet.
It sits looking over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.         ~ Carl Sandburg

Whether induced by drugs or alcohol,

by unhealthy obsessive behaviors,

by a dominating parent or spouse,

by low self esteem, by your boss at work

or by your best friend,

a fog that clouds ones thinking may exist

and you do not even know it.

The fog lets other people, places and things dictate the choices you make in your life.

"There are people who want to be everywhere at once,
and they get nowhere."                                                        ~ Carl Sandburg

Who to go with, where to go, and when to go, become the decisions that you cannot make

responsibly.

I'll have one more drink; the wife never misses me anyhow.

I'll take one more pill, the nap will do me good, the kids can find their own way home.

A coffee and a doughnut (or a half dozen) will calm my upset stomach,

I will start the diet tomorrow.

Mom will be mad at me if I don't go visit her today, I can reschedule the doctors appointment.

My husband will beat me for no reason at all.

My best friend wants to go shopping today, I have some food budget money that I can use.

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."

- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

Time is required to recognize the condition, time is required to let the fog lift,
 
and then it becomes the time to start growing up.

Change me, change myself and I change.

Mind, body and soul need to come out of the fog and see the light that is the will

of a Higher Power. A clear mind, along with the ability to hear and heed the advice

of friends and a healthy family, can allow you to make better choices.

A health body can give you the energy and the will to make better choices.

A happy soul, the Spirit of the Universe which is in you,

will do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

Be kind, be loving and be the person that your Higher Power wants you to be.

Pray to make your life clear of any mist or fog.

Meditate, remember to listen for the answer.

Happiness is seeing the fog lift.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss
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Thankful

. Thank, thanks, thanked, thank you, thank God,

all of these words come from the same Old English

12th century thanc, and have to do with gratitude.

Thankful is to be aware of benefits received.

Thankful is more than being grateful, it is to be obliged,

gratified, contented, satisfied, indebted to, beholden,

pleased, kindly disposed, appreciative, and overwhelmed.

Gratitude is a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors

or benefits received.. You cannot have one, gratitude,

without the other, thankfulness.

"God has two dwellings; one in heaven,
and the other in a meek and thankful heart." ~ Izaak Walton

Life is not one thankful. Life is to have much thankfulness for the many blessings

received every day. The more kindness you have in your heart, the more kindness

you will receive from others. The more love you have in your soul, the more love

you will receive from others. Others are what we must be thankful for.

"If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share." ~ W. Clement Stone

It is O.K. to thank God for your blessings, but it is more important to know that God

only gave you the chance to be kind and loving, it was your choice, your faith, that

allowed you to receive the benefits of God's will. Learn to be thankful for the talents,

the skills, and the opportunity that have been God sent for you to be you. Things mean

nothing if you do not have someone to share them with. If you acquire things for selfish

motives, you will lose them in embarrassing ways.

The antonyms of thankful are ungrateful, insensible, and thankless.

Notice that God made it is too easy to make the choice to be thankful.

Be patient and tolerant, the one you love may not be perfect, but then again nobody is.

  "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

It takes two to begat. Kindness will begat kindness. Love will begat love.

Being the person God wants you to be will begat blessings.

Happiness is having more begats than the Bible.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Vision

. Do not let your vision

be limited by another persons

vain attempt to explain how

humanity works in God's world.

Allow your minds eye to see

what ever your Higher Power

has put into your imagination.

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~ Louisa May Alcott

Have the faith to conceive even though you may not yet have the strength to believe.

"Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
not as they ought to be." ~ Ambrose Bierce

Do not be the cynic or the critic, allow others to explain their visions to you

and then take what you want and leave the rest. Everything has a negative and

a positive, a sunny side and a dark side, the good and the bad, believe what

you feel is the next right thing, the vision that your Higher Power has given you.

A Higher Power has given everyone the ability to envision things, so that we

may all strive to make something more of ourselves.

"Champions aren't made in the gyms.
Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -
- a desire, a dream, a vision."                             ~ Muhammad Ali

An idea is a single thought, a single step, whereas a vision is the complete

stairway into the unknown. Do not step blindly, use the direction, the will

of a Higher Power, to build a stairway that will rise to the occasion.

Today, do not limit your vision, dream large.

Today, may all your visions be of charming sights.

Today, have the courage to live your dreams.

Happiness is a vision from God.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Ownership

Ownership is not a right that can be demanded,

ownership is a privilege that must be earned.

Work for it.

People, places and things. Mind, body and soul.

Friends and lovers are partnerships in which

we must take responsibility for partial

ownership.

Work at the relationship, do not just keep score

 

and do only your half of the work, know that

 

some days you may have to work harder than

 

 others and some days you may have to do all of the work.

"When you make a commitment to a relationship,
you invest your attention and energy in it more
profoundly because you now experience
ownership of that relationship."                              ~Barbara De Angelis

Do not let yourself be abused, the friend or lover must know how you feel about

their efforts when you feel they are falling short.

If all of the time in the relationship is spent on judging each others efforts,

the effort should be made to change ownership.

Never own a relationship to the point of jealousy.

 If you take ownership and deal with things that are bothering you,

then, by the very process of dealing with them, they very often will go away.

Places can be owned, but know in your heart that a

Higher Power made this world for all to enjoy.

Practice stewardship and share your space with

those who have a like mind to conserve and preserve.

Things which are owned are not a substitute for self esteem.

Keep your pride in balance and own only what you need.

Mind your mind, ownership of your thoughts and actions

is key to living a life that is happy, joyous and free.

"Freeing yourself was one thing;
claiming ownership of that freed self was another."   ~Toni Morrison

Think good, think positive, live good and prosper.

You own your body and keeping a sound mind in a

healthy body leads to a life that is to be enjoyed.

You do not own your soul.

Take ownership of all the aspects of your life,

the people, places and things, the mind and the body,

and your soul will be content to do the will of your Higher Power.

Your soul is the enjoyment of life that completes the Universe,

the responsibility of making this world a better place for all,

no matter who thinks they own what.
 
Ownership is respecting yourself, others and your Higher Power.

Laugh, love and let your heart dance, for you own this moment.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Gratitude

. Gratitude is a feeling of happiness

that grows within you when you learn

to do the will of your Higher Power.

Kindness, Love, Patience and Tolerance

 are the seeds of gratitude.

You must also know that you can plant

the seeds of your own self destruction

should you give into bad habits and negative feelings.

Examine your seeds before you sow them today. Not sure which seeds are good,

which are bad, pray to your Higher Power for guidance.

Have a friend, find a friend, one who knows happiness and is grateful for being exactly as

their Higher Power wants them to be, the one who knows how to plant a good seed.

God gives us the chance to be a weed or a flower, we make the choice.

You make the choice to plant your seeds in the good soil of kindness

or in the desert sands of despair.

You make your choice to water your seeds with love or allow them to dry up and wither away.

You make the choice to put your seeds in the sunlight of a Higher Power and have the patience

and tolerance to allow God to do His will.

Go to places where you find happy people, where the judge and the jury are there to laugh

with you, to help you nurture your soul, not to look down upon you with scorn, to punish

you for having become the bad weed.

"One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers,
but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings.
The curriculum is so much necessary raw material,
but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant
and for the soul of the child."                                                     ~ Carl Jung

Check out your garden today and make your gratitude list,

Beautiful flowers of kindness all around the perimeter.

Baskets full of vegetables of love, waiting to feed your soul.

A few fruit trees of patience and tolerance that will bear the fruits

of a loving family and friends, and a savory patch of herbs and spices

will make life more enjoyable.

Today, know that all is well with your garden when you have more than enough

to share with someone who is having troubles with their garden.

Today, know that you cannot pull out the weeds from the garden of family,

friends or the needy.

Today, know that you cannot tend the garden of others, just show them

what makes your garden grow.

Today, sow well, tend well, and the gardens reward for you will be a feast tomorrow.

Gratitude is the heart's memory.

Happiness is having the seeds of gratitude growing in your heart.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Ten

. On a scale of one to ten,

with ten being the best,

God said we are all tens.

Why should we argue

with God and be judges

of others character,

even when we know

that our own character

may be less than the best.

.

We judge the character of others so that we do not have to look at our own character.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” ~ Anon.


God does not hold grudges or keep score, so why should we?

God gives us a chance to be a ten every day, the choice is ours to act that way.

Be kind, smile at ten people today.

Be loving, tell someone in your life that they are a ten
and more importantly tell them how special they are to you.

Be patient and tolerant and when all else fails, count to ten.

Be forgiving, keep the Ten Comandments.

Today, be the ten your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is being able to count to ten.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Shame

Shame and hubris are self conscious emotions.

One must first be conscious before the feeling can be experienced.

Addictions are unconscious behaviors.

Rage and jealousy are habits that are unconsciously produced.

Shame is consciously knowing that one
has not met a standard of normal behavior.

When a person becomes conscious after an unconscionable episode, the shame is the aftermath of the damage created.

Hubris is an exaggerated pride or over self confidence to the point where they are
not conscious of their affects on others because they set standards that no one can achieve.

Do not expect others to do as you claim to have done, when in reality, only your exaggerated
self esteem dreamed that you met a certain standard. Do not tell people about your sobriety,
show them. You are not a guru just because you believe you are one.

The shame is in living a sham. We should be ashamed of our pride, but never proud of our shame. Common sense hides shame. Honesty and consciousness are the standards for shameless living.
Get out of your own way, out of your own head, help others and do the will of your Higher Power.

"There is no shame in taking orders from those
who themselves have learned to obey." William Forster

Do the will of your Higher Power. Hang with the winners, the ones who walk the walk,
not just talk the talk. Live together, or die alone in shame. Be happy, laugh and love, there is no shame in living well.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

ME and the Boss
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Virtue

  "To be able

under all circumstances

to practice five things

constitutes perfect virtue:

these five things are gravity,

generosity of soul,

sincerity, earnestness and kindness. "

~ Confucius BC 551-479

.

Gravity means to live up to moral standards of what is right, in thoughts as well as in deeds.

Sincerity relates to ones capacity to act, potency is a synonym of virtue that defines this aptitude.

"Faith without works is dead."       ~ BB page 88

Earnestness is understood to be the virtue of valor, the courage to do the next right thing.

Kindness, the virtue defined by the Golden Rule of life, is having the faith to believe what
you give you will merit in return.

Generosity of the soul is your celestial hierarchy, the angel you wish to be:

From the lowest rank: Angels, Archangels, Principalities, Powers,
Virtues, the angels right in the middle, and Dominions, Thrones, Cherubim,
to the Seraphim, the highest ranking of all of the angels, be the best angel you can be.

A little virtue is better than no virtue at all.

"For peace is not mere absence of war, but is a virtue that springs from,
a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."           ~ Baruch Spinoza

All the good words you can think of are virtues that you can aspire to.

All the good deeds you can do will be virtuous.

All the good thoughts, the ones that your Higher Power already knows you are thinking,
are the virtues that will give you serenity, peace of mind and the ability to sleep well.

The virtue of the angels is the power that constitutes the Spirit of the Universe.

Today, do not pick and chose the virtue you wish to practice, know that all the virtues
work together to make one happy, joyous and free.

Today, by the generosity of your heart and soul, chose the angel you wish to be and
practice random acts of senseless kindness.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Answer

The right answer is an opinion.

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly.

I said, I don't know." ~ Mark Twain

Sometimes the obvious makes the question

more difficult to answer.

When there is a good question it is usually

better than the answer you will receive.

Sometimes silence is the best answer.

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The smartest and wisest are not the ones with all the answers,

they are those who know how to ask the right question.

Those who know peace of mind and serenity are the ones who

know that yesterday's answers may not apply to today's question.

Life is a question, the answer is your choice.

When the answer is to do the next right thing you cannot go wrong.

When the answer obeys the will of a Higher Power

only good things can happen.

Reply, be kind.

Respond, be loving.

Retort, be patient and tolerant.

Rejoinder, be the person God wants you to be.

Today, make the best answer to that difficult question

take the form of another question to you Higher Power,

the question whose answer will provide guidance,

strength of character and the courage

to be the best you can be.

Today, be happy that you do not know all the answers.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

As A Drunk Sees It: Secret

As A Drunk Sees It: Secret: . The secret is not to have any secrets. The secret to life, the secret to happiness, the secret to fame and fortune, are not...

Secret

. The secret is

not to have any secrets.

The secret to life,

the secret to happiness,

the secret to fame and fortune,

are not really secrets,

they are the lazy and stupid persons reasons

for blaming God and others for their personal discontent.

Sick secrets keep the sick, sick.

Most secrets are thoughts kept inside of our heads because we fear if someone
should know what we are thinking, they will no longer like or love us.
Your Higher Power knows what you are thinking, yet He still likes and loves you.
Nothing is as burdensome as a secret.

"Self-trust is the first secret to success." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your Higher Power keeps no secrets. You do not need a secret code to decipher
what is the will of your Higher Power . God is not closemouthed about His will.
When a friend tells you that you are keeping a sick secret, that is your Higher Power
telling on you.

Mother Nature does not seclude her gardens bounty from anyone.
The not to secret miracle for growing a garden is water, sunlight,
and tender loving attention.

Put that manure in a box and market it to those who are too smart to think.

Happiness is not hidden under a rock.

Faith is not a clandestine affair with your Higher Power.

Love is not a surreptitious meeting of divergent souls.

Friendship is not an esoteric agreement between strangers.

Hope is not a covert effort to hide your self esteem from those who may harm you.

A wish is not a secluded desire to do the next right thing.

There is no secret.

Wish, hope, dream, be honest, listen closely, change, enjoy the passage of time,
be kind, be loving, be happy, be tolerant, be patient, be forgiving and if you do all of this
with a smile on your face, you will know the secret of life.

Smile, it will make others think you have a secret.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

ME  and the Boss

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Space

.

The three dimensions:

distance, area and volume,

can be used when discussing

the word space,

but more important than these

is the dimension of time.

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The Dash Poem, by Linda Ellis

"I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years..."


The complete poem, "The Dash", tells the story of the most important space that exists,
the duration of our lives. Today is the most important time in that space. What we do
in the space of the next 24 hours may be all that we will be remembered by.
Will we be remembered as a good guy or a bad guy, or just as a person who did the
best they could within the space they occupied.

God will give us the chance, we must make the choice.

Hope, faith and good habits will place us in a dimension where we can be of service
to self, others and our Higher Power.

Hope is the thought, the wishes of our mind.

Faith is the belief, the heart of our desires.

Good habits are the soul that puts into action the doing of the will of a Higher Power.

The Spirit of the Universe is in control of the dimension beyond our comprehension,
our space needs to be occupied by doing the best we can to carry the message of a
loving God. Be kind, the space between making a good choice and a selfish one is
very small. Be loving, the space you fill in the hearts of others is directly proportional
to what you give. Be patient and tolerant of those whose time and space may be out of
control. Do not teach, do not preach, just be a good example to those who do not know
how to use their space wisely.

"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is
will occupy rent-free space in your mind."                       ~ Isabelle Holland


Have a friend, learn from those who make good choices, time and space are too valuable
to spend on the losers. Losers are those who refuse to change for the better. Do the best
you can within the space that you live, life is not a practice run, today is it, do the next
right thing and become a good habit, one that will have improved the world for all.

"Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute.
The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry,
And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours."               ~ Leo Buscaglia

Laugh, love and make sure your space is well occupied.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Distractions

. You create your own distractions

so that you do not have to face reality.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

drink alcohol to forget.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

gamble away the paycheck.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

engage with strange people.

Do not like to do this, so you'll do this,

go shopping and buy things you do not need.

Do not like this, so you'll do this,

become obsessive compulsive with a hobby.

And the list of distractions goes on and on. There are times when we do the distracting habit

without thinking. There are times when the distraction becomes an addiction and you have

no control over where or when the distraction will take you.

Eventually you even forget the reason you sought out the distraction.

Maybe everything begins with hope, but it usually ends without it. It all ends in reality,

as you perceive reality to be. The perception of reality becomes so distorted by the

distraction you may not know what is real and what is a figment of your imagination.

Find a friend, someone from your family, someone you may have just met, someone

you trust, someone you do not mistrust, anyone who can listen, because when you begin

to honestly tell others of your woes, you will answer your own question of ,

"why am I so distracted from reality?"

"By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions,
one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination." ~ Christopher Columbus

You may fear reality if you have been distracted for too long. Fear is not knowing.

Learning is the first step to change. Pray to your Higher Power to give you the courage

to change. Have faith that your Higher Power wants only good for you.

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen"
(Hebrews 11:1).

Today, avoid the distractions. Today, face reality along with the help of a friend

and your Higher Power. Today, select a goal or destination that is fun and exciting.

Today, do not be distracted from doing the will of your Higher Power.

Be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant, be forgiving and be the person

God wants you to be.

May your troubles be less, your blessings more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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On Laughing

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Every day I ask God

to help me stop taking

myself too seriously.

Research on laughter

suggest the following:

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  ON LAUGHING!

  1. Laughing 100 times roughly equals 15 minutes on an exercise bike?
Vigorous laughter increases the heart rate deepens the breathing rate,
and uses muscles in the face, stomach, and diaphragm.

2. Aside from improving our moods, laughter can reduce stress,
help fight infection, and reduce pain.

3. The levels of two stress hormones, cortisol and epinephrine
which suppress the body's immune system, will actually drop after
a dose of laughter.

4. Laughter causes positive changes in brain chemistry by releasing endorphins,
and it brings more oxygen into the body with the deeper inhalations.

5. Laughter releases anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

6. Laughter encourages concentration on "right" attitudes
rather than "wrong" attitudes.

7. Higher levels of an antibody (salivary immunoglobulin A) that fights
infectious organisms entering the respiratory tract were found in the saliva
of people who watched humorous videos or experienced good moods.

  8. Researchers found after watching an hour-long video of slapstick comedy
that the "natural killer cells," which seek out and destroy malignant cells,
more actively attacked tumor cells in test tubes. And these effects lasted up to 12 hours.

9. The 1998 movie Patch Adams told the real-life story of a nonconformist
doctor convinced that fun, play, and clowns are important in improving patients'
quality of life in a grim hospital atmosphere.

10. Planning enjoyable activities for the future will reduce the stressor hormones
such as cortisol and epinephrine.

So a scientist walks into a shopping mall to watch people laugh. There's no punchline.
Laughter is a serious scientific subject, one that researchers are still trying to figure out.
Laughing is primal, our first way of communicating. Apes laugh. So do dogs and rats.
Babies laugh long before they speak. No one teaches you how to laugh.

You just do.

And often you laugh involuntarily, in a specific rhythm and in certain spots in conversation.
You may laugh at a prank on April Fool's Day. But surprisingly, only 10 to 15 per cent
of laughter is the result of someone making a joke, said Baltimore neuroscientist
Robert Provine, who has studied laughter for decades. Laughter is mostly about social
responses rather than reaction to a joke.

"Laughter above all else is a social thing," Provine said.
"The requirement for laughter is another person."

Over the years, Provine, a professor with the University of Maryland Baltimore County,
 has boiled laughter down to its basics.

"All language groups laugh 'ha-ha-ha' basically the same way," he said.
"Whether you speak Mandarin, French or English, everyone will understand laughter...
There's a pattern generator in our brain that produces this sound."

Each "ha" is about 1/15th of a second, repeated every fifth of a second, he said.
Laugh faster or slower than that and it sounds more like panting or something else.
Deaf people laugh without hearing, and people on cellphones laugh without seeing,
illustrating that laughter isn't dependent on a single sense but on social interactions,
said Provine, author of the book : Laughter: A Scientific Investigation.

Article prepared by Joe Mc Fadden

Joe McFadden
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ME and the Boss

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Time and Time Again

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If you stand in one spot for 24 hours,

1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds,

the Earth will rotate on it's axis

360 degrees, and you will have

completed what we call a day.

Time is time, no more and no less.

You or others, time will be the

same for all.

What you do with the time is your choice.

Sleeping and eating are required by most people.

Working to earn food, grow food, gather food, kill for food, or however you get what you eat,

is time that is necessarily spent. Man is a social animal so time must be spent with others.

You may choose your friends, but your family is yours.

Hopefully your family has taught you the appropriate social skills. School, church,

tribal meetings, extended family or whatever your cultural or ethnic traditions dictate,

are all social learning experiences.

If Dad took you to the bar a few days a week to hang out with him and the guys and gals,

your social education is probably very lacking.

Fortunately, social skills may be learned or relearned at any age.

Move to a different country on a different continent and you will learn to adapt to your

new social surroundings if you chose to eat and sleep.

Now, back to the time that is left over in your day.

"Life is not lost by dying;
life is lost minute by minute,
day by dragging day,
in all the thousand small uncaring ways."       ~ Stephen Vincent Benet

Yesterday is gone, history, time spent, and can now be used only as a reference for what 

you want to do today.

Tomorrow never comes.

Today is the day that must be the focus of your intentions.

Develop some personal habits and exercise some regular social interaction in your daily

schedule so that you may live a fulfilled life. A fulfilled life is one that completes the

will of a Higher Power. Today, put your attitude in a positive gear and enjoy life.

Practice your daily mantra of goodness; be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant,

be forgiving and try to be the person God wants you to be.

Be kind to yourself, sleep, eat, and be healthy because if you are not physically and

mentally up to par, you may have just wasted another day.

Be kind to others.

Negative feelings are unproductive and waste valuable time. Resentments, anger, worry,

fear, envy, nagging and complaining, hate, regrets and other negative thoughts are

exercises in time wasting. Trying to drown or stuff your feelings with alcohol or drugs

is a day wasted and memories lost.

Time is the most valuable commodity anyone can have, learn to spend it wisely.

Be happy, joyous and free, enjoy life, time is short and it is always fleeing.

In your day there is no time for could have, should have, would have done this or that,

only the time which you spent doing what you did.

You may start your day over anytime you wish, but remember time will eventually

make the ultimate decision when the day is over.

Do not pass on the opportunity to do the pleasant little things in life, you may one day

look back and realize that they were the big things in your life.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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My Short Story

This is a short story, just like me, short.

I'm not a midget, but, for the egomaniac

who suffers with an inferiority complex,

any character defect is/was enough to drive

me crazy, short drive.

I did not fit in, I did not know how to fit in,

still don't, but I have learned that not

fitting in does have its benefits.

At forty-nine I stopped drinking because my fuse was burning rapidly

and I could not see my life for the smoke.

After fifteen years the smoke lifted and I started to learn how to listen.

At first I listened to those who had traveled a  path similar to mine and they

taught me the most important lesson I have ever learned, how to listen to my

own quiet small inner voice, the intuitive song that is provided by the

Spirit of the Uni-verse, the song that flows through everyone and everything.

I read books, I read blogs and I saw it written many times and many ways,

writing is very good therapy both for the sane and the insane, I couldn't miss.

I put together the two lessons, listening to my gut feelings and to start writing

because it is therapeutic and ergo I was launched on a daily routine of writing

that has surpassed four years.

For the first year and a half I wrote 4 to 6 hundred words a day by choosing

a word that was positive, a word that related to changing ones behaviors and attitudes

or a thought that helped me better understand myself, even though the writing was

supposedly for the benefit of the reader,.

The therapy for me was in the proof reading, was I just talking the talk (writing the write),

or was I walking the walk.

Two Thousand and ten saw the advent of "Happiness Is", 365 posts about happiness,

followed by "Love Is" in two thousand and eleven  and I am half way through

two thousand and twelve writing "Life Is".

I have a friend who reads my blog from time to time and sometime during

two thousand ten I chastised him for not reading a particular blog because the topic

was about an issue that he was having trouble with (women), and I was sure that

he would benefit from my sage advise.

He told me that at 250 to 300 words per day, it was too long and too tedious for his

little brain to wrap around.

Two lessons, write short, Love Is and Life Is are 100 words +/- per day, and lesson

number two, the most important lesson, I am writing for MY benefit and if someone

receives some motivation or pleasure from my writing, God bless them.

Do I want to publish my thoughts, the ego says yes, the retirement income says it could

use the boost, but the truth is I am content to write for myself every day.

Faith, God has provided me with inspiration every day over the span of the exercise

and my life is just as good as God wants it to be, my needs are being met and

my wants know their place.

The moral of this short story, learn to listen and listen to learn.

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Hugs, love and prayers, ME and the Boss

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The Boss is either God or my wife,
depends on who is standing behind me at the time
giving me the inspiration needed to get the job done.
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Foul Mouth, Foul Mind

. It is a Blessing from God

that man has been given

the ability to communicate

thoughts and ideas by using

vocal sounds, those sounds,

represented by letters,

become words.

Since these words

are American, (English?)

 all references will regard

the American language.

The Oxford English (from England) Dictionary contains over 250,000 entries,

and many are recognized as uniquely American. These American words are

usually referred to as slang. The dictionary does not count foreign language

words in common use in America; we sauté our food (French), we study martial

arts, Judo and Karate (Japanese). The dictionary does not count medical and

scientific terms. There are ten times as many more words in use today than

when Shakespeare was living.


With so many options available, why do people swear?

By swearing we do not mean taking an oath, as in President Obama was sworn in

and took the oath of office twice. Foul language, swearing, taking the name of a

Higher Power in vain, are not necessary when you have tens of thousands of words

available to convey your message.

Shock value??

Ignorance??

Lazy and stupid??

Speak up.

The mind can become saturated with bad habits and using foul language is a bad habit.

You are known by the friends you keep and the level of language they speak.

Think.

Change.

If you do not use foul language, fine, improve your standing among your friends

and learn a new word every day.

Better yet, use a few well selected words more often;

Please and Thank You, May I help you? I Love you, are good for starters,

"Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use

of four simple words: I do not know." ~ Andre Maurois

Attempt to make it through today by not using any of the seven words you cannot

say on television. (George Carlin)

Try to talk to friends without using any four lettered slang.

Do not huff and puff, speak softly, but carry a big stick. (Roosevelt paraphrased)

No screaming and yelling allowed. (Children, Spouse or Family)

Ask your Higher Power to help you select the best words for the right occasion.

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
~ Robin Williams

May the words you use today change the world for the better.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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Me and the Boss 

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