Recovery...as this drunk sees it #2

Addictive disease contains all FIVE conditions
that are required to qualify as a disease.

1) PRIMARY: The disease is not a symptom of
another  condition, and exists independently
of other disease processes.

2) CHRONIC: There is no cure. Abstinence is necessary to
stop the behavioral and physical progression of the disease.

3) PROGRESSIVE: Signs and symptoms become more
severe over time.

4) PRONE TO RELAPSE: Once the disease has
progressed to the point where the symptoms are obvious,
it becomes abnormal for the individual not to use.
The individual must learn how to not use and must have
a preventive program in place to prevent relapse.

5) POTENTIALLY FATAL: All addictive diseases can kill either directly or indirectly.

There are also TWO dominant characteristics of addiction.

1) TOLERANCE: As the result of cellular adaptation at the neuron level in the brain, it becomes necessary to have an increase in use to achieve the same affect.
2) PHYSICAL DEPENDENCY: Progressively severe withdrawal symptoms of which the most important are those which originate in the brain itself. As an addictive disease progresses it is these characteristics, tolerance and dependency, which motivate continued use rather than anything else in the addict/alcoholics life.

   The above is a definition, alcoholics are individuals, therefore, every alcoholic has his own diagnosis, his own time frame for the progression of the disease, the different nuances of this and that, which they (the alcoholic) use to deny that they have a problem. Every alcoholic is a square peg trying to fit into a round hole,(or visa verse). As regards the Chronic part of the definition, medication may help some, hypnosis may help some, but once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic and the only sane way to survive the disease is not to drink or drug, ever.
   Progression can be illustrated by noting that some teenagers begin way out of control and are dead by the time they are twenty-one. Some addicts and alcoholics start out hard and hardy and have a good long run before the problems catch up to them. Some start out slowly and go many years, with few problems, until they reach a point where they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. There are exceptions: the traffic accident victim who is severely hurt and requires large doses of pain killers to survive and when they are healed, they are hooked. Grandma and Grandpa retire, never drank, now they decide to have a toddy to help them sleep; the kids finally catch on and send them to the rehab.The Prone to Relapse part of the disease definition is a topic that will be discussed in a series of separate blogs after more discussions about the bad behaviors of alcoholics.
  The only constant is that all of the victims will deny that they do not have a problem. 
Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you do not have a disease.
The pain, the agony, the suffering and the misery are always caused by someone else.
Be sympathetic of the addict who is trying to quit drinking and drugging, but remember,
tough love may be the only sane way that you have to defend yourself from the alcoholic.

Please remember, they are sick people trying to get well, not bad people trying to become good.

The following is a link to one of the more highly recommended rehabilitation facilities
on the east coast of the United States.

http://www.fathermartinsashley.com Happiness is helping someone help themselves. Michael_e

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #1

"The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."
~ W. C. Fields

The first word that needs to be understood before anyone
can even begin to deal with an addict/alcoholic is:

Denial....

D - don't
E - even
N -no (know)
I - I
A - am
L - lying

How can you tell when an alcoholic is lying??
- His lips are moving.

   Most people are good, moral, upstanding individuals who know the difference between right and wrong. Under the influence, alcoholics forget everything that has to do with making the right choice and they go into a survival mode. If it takes lying, cheating and stealing to get more of the substance that their bodies crave, they will do what they must to get it. The denial system of survival set up by the sick and suffering may and usually involves and affects everyone around them.
   Those who allow (or refuse to admit) the alcoholics immoral behaviors become the enablers of the addict/alcoholic. Enablers, (husband, wives, parents, bosses, friends? employers, significant others)
are in themselves very sick and need education or treatment just as badly as the alcoholic.

   Rehabilitation means to return an individual back to a sane and normal moral existence.

   During the rehabilitation process education means to discover those behaviors that are destructive to the alcoholic and those around him, and compare them to the behaviors that are acceptable.
Treatment is the series of exercises and activities suggested to change the identified negative behaviors into acceptable ones.
   After the in-patient treatment, most good rehab facilities will have a new lifestyle plan for the client to put into place upon their release from the facility. This next phase of recovery is a topic for future posts.
   One drink for the alcoholic who is trying to rehabilitate themselves means a total destruction of any progress that may have been made towards the return to a normalized behavior pattern. Often, a relapse by an addict/alcoholic, may add insult to injury. The affected has, by relapsing, added additional guilt and shame to their already diminished egos.Treatment for the relapsed addict/alcoholic (a client who has completed at least one prior stay at a 28 day facility) is a totally different and specific entity in the rehab/treatment field. Some of the more prominent rehabilitation centers in the United States have separate satellite locations or separate on campus facilities specifically assigned to relapse clients.

   Rehab, education, and treatment are to no avail if the affected do not cooperate.

   You can tell a drunk, but you can't tell him much.

   Although this article is addressed to the Addict/Alcoholic, most of the attitudes and behaviors described can be attributed to those who suffer from addictive personalities. It is not what substance one uses, but how they abuse the substance. Gambling, food, sex, workaholic, or any other obsessive compulsive behavior that cause an individual to neglect normal responsibilities or make improper moral judgements, are included in the treatable realm of addictive disorders.
   Many rehabilitation centers are exclusive to one type of addiction or to a select few addictions that they deem to be equally well treated by their program.
   Be aware that some of the addictions may be better treated in a clinic situation . Sex and Love addicts and the dual diagnosed usually do better when they are in controlled therapy sessions (Self-help programs) in addition to their twelve step program work. Many self help meetings are not advertised the way AA meetings are publicly scheduled and may need to be sought out by seeking professional guidance. This secrecy is not to hide from public scrutiny to avoid the social stigma, it is done to keep sexual predators and untreated deviates from stalking the vulnerable individuals who need to attend the meetings. Doctors and lawyers have a referral system they use to keep their self help meetings limited to only those in their profession. This type of activity is against the traditions of AA, however, this type of exclusivity only helps to underscore the negative stigma that alcoholism has in the general society.

The following link is to one of the most highly recommended Drug and Alcohol treatment centers in the United States. This facility is located in the eastern mid-Atlantic states area.
http://www.fathermartinsashley.com

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Mantram

"The mantram becomes one's staff of life and carries one through every ordeal.


Each repetition has a new meaning, carrying you nearer


and nearer to God."   ~Mahatma Gandhi

Don't have a mantra yet,

borrow one of mine:

"God grant me the serenity to accept

those thingsI cannot change, (Other People)

courage to change the things I can, (Me),

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Or:

Be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant, be forgiving,

be the person God wants you to be.

Or:

God help me.

Or:

Seek out a sponsor, a friend, a person in the rooms who has what you want, and ask

them if you may borrow their mantra.

Everybody who is seeking spiritual progress has a mantra, a prayer, a way to seek

the will of their loving Higher Power.

God loves you or He would not have led you to the rooms so that you can get

clean, sober up and be able to better do His will.

Today, repeat after me, repeat after your sponsor, repeat after a true friend,

there is a better way.

Today, may you be blessed with one day of sobriety, may you find your mantra,

and may you find a pathway to spiritual progress that is happy, joyous and free.

Michael_e

Sobriety and a Niche Market

"The worst thing about some men is
that when they are not drunk they are sober."

 ~ William Butler Yeats

Sobriety is a good niche market with estimates from various US National and World agencies stating that roughly 10% of the world’s population is affected by the disease of addictive personality.

Subsequent blog posts to this will concentrate mostly on the alcoholism, however, the physical maladies of the brain and the emotional affect on the psyche will be similar among addicts, regardless of the substance they use. Drugs, (prescribed or street), food, sex, gambling, codependency, shopping and numerous other
obsessive compulsive behaviors can be identified and treated in a similar manner as alcoholism.

As a niche market it is, however, not a lucrative money maker, because the drunk spent all his money on booze. Although the previous statement was intended to be funny, the sad but more realistic reason for the limited market is the social stigma that is still associated with one being an alcoholic Another reason that insurance companies and other agencies are unwilling to spend money on qualified treatment has been the limited success rate of treatment programs. Claims of success in excess of 5% are usually qualified with a disclaimer. The illusion that one is spending good money on a bad person is tacitly real. Sometimes the affected family, employer, or the courts, find resources to finance treatment for the sick and suffering, but funding is limited and limited funding reduces the quality of the treatment programs.

The drunk seldom suffers, until he tries to sober up.

One of the greatest travesties in the United States of America is that Insurance Companies are allowed to dictate to the treatment community how long treatment will be and what treatment will consist of. The concept of the 28 day treatment regime has been dictated by the Insurance companies and has absolutely no relevance to the need of the individual patient. If a patient needs a longer exposure to primary treatment and possibly extended treatment, they are rarely covered for the additional expenses.
One of the more successful programs to relieve the alcoholic of his physical and mental dependency is (AA) Alcoholic Anonymous. The basis for the AA program is a belief in a spiritual condition produced by the individuals understanding of a Higher Power. As soon as the insurance companies see or hear of anything that is not a medical/drug treatment program they are adamant about providing treatment. To bring a God into the realm of personal well being is not politically correct nor does it warrant the expenditure of their monies. The concept of insurance is a very vague and mysterious market, and when it concerns a drunk you can be assured that cost of treatment is limited to doctors and drugs. However, every life has a value and unless one tries to help, no one will know who may or may not benefit from treatment. Just like the disease of diabetes an alcoholic has a brain physiology that has been altered. Once altered the brain can never be returned to what may be considered normal. The analogy that is most commonly used to explain this phenomenon is:" you can make a cucumber into a pickle, but once a pickle always a pickle, never to be a cucumber again."

A recent TV campaign from a California rehab, owned by a man who wrote a book, is absolutely silly.
Anyone claiming a cure is not in their right mind, nor their left mind. The man should be taken off the air for spamming. Great marketing, and sure to believe, he'll make money. Insurance companies support his program because it is medically ascribed to. He avoids false advertising suspicion by making no claims to percentage of treatment success.

Today's economic conditions are only going to feed the fires of abuse, and subsequent need for better or alternative treatments. Stress and sudden changes in life styles can be devastating to the average person. Should that person have an addictive personality, the need to stop the depressing feelings of guilt, shame and failure will almost surely lead to substance or behavioral abuses.

If the drunk is not willing to change, someone is wasting their time and money.

Happiness is the soul that is sick and tired of being sick and tired and is willing to seek to change.

My friend, here is hoping for you that you want to be sober more than you want to stay drunk.

Michael_e

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde write “TGIF” on her shoes?

A: Toes Go In First

It is not funny;

it is degrading, humiliating, insensitive, crude, rude and obnoxious,       

and I did it because I received my self esteem by putting others down.

Racial, ethnic, crippled or blind, the jokes were designed

to make sure that you did not look at the true me.

I could not stand to look at the real me, how could I expect a stranger to like the person who did not fit in, who was not good enough, who was different, who had too many skeletons hiding in the closet.

The grandiose psyche, the pretend persona, the false façade, the good time Charlie who commanded the prime seat at the end of the bar and was the ring leader of all stupid conversations, the conversations that cured all of the ills in this world, and yet, I was still the loneliest person on this Earth.

Today, I no longer need to tell jokes.

God has shown me that the joke was on me.

The joke is I have a disease and I allowed my powerlessness over that disease to warp my conscious and unconscious thoughts, my self esteem and my perception of the world.

Today I no longer need to be lonely because there is a fellowship of other recovering alcoholics and addicts who support the true and honest me.

My God does not make any junk.

The road I traveled from drunk to recovered is my experience, strength and hope that I share with others who suffer from the same disease.

Today, if I follow the path of my loving Higher Power, the road is always paved with kindness and love and I know that God has a place for me to fit in, I am good enough to do His will, my uniqueness is not terminal, and the skeletons have been removed from the closet, by the grace of God.

No joke.

Laugh, love, dance, sing and enjoy life the way God meant it to be.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

I Don’t Care

I don’t care

that you don’t care

about your sobriety,

but please

respect the rights

of others.

A 12 Step meeting usually last one hour and for a number of reasons you should be in you seat when the meeting is started and you should still be in your seat when the meeting is over.

Although the format of the meeting is arbitrary the reason for the meeting and the participation of the attendees is always a constant, to carry the message to all who seek sobriety.
If the meeting begins with prayer or readings one should listen closely to the words, there may be a key to today’s peace of mind in the message.
If you had a good sponsor, the person who walked you through the steps and explained How It Works for him and others, he would be remiss if he did not explain that the way to recovery is change.
Therefore, no matter how many times you have heard the prayer, no matter how many times you have heard the readings, listen closely because today is a different day, the world has changed and the words in the message may be heard differently today because hopefully you also have changed.

It was once pointed out to me that when someone is sharing there are a few reasons that we should be very attentive to their story:
Hopefully their message has to do with the topic of the meeting and hopefully the topic is about not drinking, one day at a time.
It also can be very devastating to a person sharing their pain, struggles, guilt, remorse and shame to look up and see two people talking and laughing, the automatic reaction is for the sharer to believe that they are laughing at him and his reason for seeking sobriety is shattered, his trust in the fellowship destroyed.
The person you are talking to may miss the necessary tool to keep their sobriety because you were taking their focus away from the true message.
Respect, if someone is sharing from the heart about HOW the program works,
“learn to listen and listen to learn.”

Although the program of AA is suggested, there are some rules of etiquette that should be adhered to at meetings:
Get your coffee and sit down, the next cup will wait until the meeting is over.
Only one activity at a time should be happening, do not pass around telephone list, collection baskets, announcements, cake or cards while readings or sharing is happening.
Clean up is after the meeting is over, coffee for after the meeting is important.
Do not put your telephone on vibrate and leave the meeting at any time to answer calls, if you are on call and you must be available to be called in case of emergencies, sit next to the door in the rear, and do not share your experience, strength and hope unless you are able to do so without interruption.
You know, keep your sharing brief, you know, and to the topic, you know, because most people, you know, begin to repeat themselves in three to five minutes, you know, and no, I do not know, because
if I did know I would not be at a meeting seeking wisdom from someone who can help me stay sober,
one day at a time.

AA is a spiritual program shared by humble people who leave their egos at the door.

There is no such thing as a bad meeting; it is only that some meetings are better than others.

Today, do your part, sit for an hour and make your meeting the best meeting in town.