Why Now ?

 

Why not now?

I spent many years wondering

why things happened when they did.

What evil intentions did a Higher Power

have that I was not getting the things I wanted

when I wanted them.

The Pennsylvania Deutsch have a saying ,

"We grow to early oldt, and to late schmart."

The realization that I have no control over why now

and why not now is a very sobering thought.

I guess I'm getting older, but necessarily smarter.

The only clue that I may have some influence

on the outcomes of daily events is when I can

directly trace an action to a decision I was aware of.

The decision did not have to be my choice.

It could be the choice made by anyone in the world,

know personally by me or a person I may have never met.

(I never knew George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Einstein,

or the people who domesticated the chicken, but they all have

definitely impacted the world I live in today.)

It could have been any person who lived any time during the span

of time man has been on Earth.

.

What were the many decisions made by all my ancestors that resulted

in me being born to my parents?

How many decisions have I made that I will never understand the full

consequences of those choices?

How many decisions have I made that may take many generations

to have their impact become relevant?

What genes may be passed on?

Like I have a choice??

I guess I can't solve the problems of the future.

Best thing to do: Today, I will work on making the best right decision I can make

.

Best thing to do: I will accept that which has happened, is happening and/or may happen

                                  as being beyond my power to control.

Best thing to do: Laugh, Love and Live like there is no Tomorrow.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves .

Michael_e




..

Change

There must

be a

change,

body,

mind,

and soul,

if the alcoholic wishes to recover from the disease.

 “Yes, there is …. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had
what are called vital spiritual experiences.
To me these are phenomena.
They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements.
Ideas, emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces
of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side,
and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.”
  ~  Carl Jung

Motivate, one must want to be sober more than they want to be drunk.

Rearrange the emotions, better yet, just learn to have an emotional experience.

Develope and attitude of gratitude.

Have a brilliant idea, learn to listen to those who have been there and done that.

Conceptualize, there is a Higher Power and it is not you.

Most importantly, know that change is not a once and done effort,

it is a daily reprieve from the disease that is granted to you by the grace

of your Higher Power, and contingent upon your continued willingness to change.

Today, change the body, eat healthy, exercise, relax.

Today, change the mind, think about helping someone else.

Today, know that God made your soul perfect so that you may do His will

and He will give you the chance, it is your choice to do the next right thing.

Today, do not talk the change, walk the change.

Happiness is being told by others that they see a change in you.

Michael_e




..

Peace on Earth

Peace on Earth begins with me.

When I have no fear, when I have faith,

when I am not at war with myself,

when I have freedom from disquieting

or oppressive thoughts or emotions,

when I live in a state of tranquility or quiet,

when I know that the will of a Higher Power, not my will, is done,

then I shall know peace of mind and I will be enjoying Pace on Earth.

"Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe.
But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes
-- goodwill among men and peace on earth."    ~ Albert Einstein

Be kind, smile, let the peace within you shine through.

Be loving, hug; share the peace that is within you.

Be patient and tolerant, some have yet to learn how to let peace into their souls.

Be the peaceful person your Higher Power wants you to be.

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day.
Their old familiar carols play.
And wild and sweet the words repeat.
Of peace on earth goodwill to men."    ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Today, be at peace with yourself and be the best example

of Peace on Earth that anyone will see today.

Remember to repeat this suggestion for the next 364 days.

Happiness is knowing that serenity, peace of mind  and happiness are inside jobs.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e




..

Coward

"The
coward
threatens
when
he
is safe."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The abuser is a coward.

It does not matter that we abuse ourselves or others, the fear of

facing reality, of looking deep inside of ourselves and admitting

our character defects makes the coward rage, be mean,

be selfish, be self-centered , be less of  a person than what God intended.

Today, be the person God wants you to be.

God has not brought you this far to just let you fall.

Stand up, face reality, tell others how you overcame the character

defects that almost killed you, devastated your self esteem,

destroyed your family, and took everything you owned.

Grow, learn, accept, be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant,

don't be a coward, be the person God wants you to be.

Share the love, know that yesterdays accolades

were just the foundation for today's good deeds.

Only the coward fears tomorrow for he lacks the faith

to carry on.

 Body, mind and soul, yesterday, today and tomorrow,

in balance, a Higher Power will give you the courage

to laugh, love and make this world a better place for all.

Happiness is overcoming the cowardice.

Michael_e

Wide Open

The mind, the heart, the soul,

to be able to receive,  

they must never be closed.

.

"Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely,
of facts and happenings.
It consists mainly
of the storm of thought
that is forever flowing
through one's head.?   ~ Mark Twain


That storm of thoughts going through our heads are the feelings we have when we are

confronted with reality, perceived or actual.

The negative or addictive reaction to confusion, lost or hopelessness is to shut down,

clam up, lock out or to attempt to hide.

Confused is the person whose mind is closed.

Lost is the person who cannot have feelings within their heart.

Hopeless is the person who has no faith in a Higher Power.

Wide open is the approach needed to have a life that is able to do the will of a Higher Power.

Do not let the facts confuse you,

do not believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.

Wide open is to learn to trust those who have what you want.

Peace of mind is the reward for the trusting wide open mind.

Positive feelings must occupy the heart if you want to find your way in life.

Faith is the guiding light for the hopeless soul.

Wide open is to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves

already knows what our souls desire.

Serenity is the reward for having a wide open soul that has a faith that cannot waiver.

Wide open is to allow your Higher Power to take the fear, hate,

confusion, doubt and mistrust from your mind, heart and soul.

Wide open is to change your no, into an, I know.

Wide open is to change your I might, into a, yes I will.

Wide open is to change your I can't, into a, yes I did.

Wide open is acceptance.

Happiness is the reward for having your heart wide open to hope.

Michael_e




..

I Am What I Am

"Looking foolish
does the spirit good.
The need not to look foolish
is one of youth's many burdens;
as we get older
we are exempted
from more and more,
and float upward
in our heedlessness,
singing Gratia Dei
sum quod sum."
~ John Updike

Gratia Dei, sum quod sum.
Thank you God, I am what I am.





Today, be kind, be generous, share the love, be patient and tolerant of the foolish
and know that if you and they wish to , you can chose to outgrow the foolishness
by just becoming the person God wants you to be.

Body, mind and spirit, pray to your Higher Power to help you keep balance in your life
and you will avoid the foolishness of being extreme.

Body building, mind building, or spirit building are only good to the point where they
are in balance and they can better allow you to do the will of your loving Higher Power.

Today, do not become muscle bound, do not become intellectually stagnant,
do not become overly pious, just become the person your dog thinks you are.

Happiness is knowing I am what I am.

Michael_e

Snap, Crackle and Pop

No, not the cereal, but you, your body, your mind and your soul.

Today, do your normally good things, do your normally

positive things, but just add a little snap, crackle and pop

into the routine.

Think of others, think outside of the box, and think

that you can add that little bit of sparkle to this world.

Today, move the body, pounce on the opportunity,

eagerly search out the task that will make this world

a better place.

Today, put some thrust behind your faith and share the

goodness that has become a part of your positive life.

Be kind, put some pep into your step, smile and make the world smile with you.


"You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late."                ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A spark of kindness can kindle a fire of love.

Be loving, put some pizzazz into your heart, tell everyone

you see today that God loves them and so do you.


"Hitch your happiness to things no one can take away.
Do something you love that requires nothing but your heart.
Let your joy arise from within."                                                  ~ Buddha

Be patient and tolerant, but do it with élan.


"To be social is to be forgiving."                                                 ~ Robert Frost

Today, be the person your Higher Power wants you to be and show the world that

snap, crackle and pop can carry a spiritual message just as well as the meek and pious.

Pop the balloon, pop the question, pop in for a visit, be spontaneous, make them laugh,

and show everyone that life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.

"The good man is the friend of all living things."                   ~ Mohandas Gandhi

Today, be a good person and do not be ashamed if everyone notices.
 
Today, believe that your brand of goodness can be spread

to a larger market if you put some snap, crackle and pop into the message.

Happiness is having an attitude of yes I can, with oomph.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Hitting the Wall

I’m rolling along, minding my own business, when out of

nowhere, there is this huge wall that appears in the middle

of my path.

This very, very tall wall, the largest psychological block

ever known to man, appears out of nowhere to stymie

all of my ego, my self esteem, my motivation,

my goals and aspirations, my reasons for living.



"In the middle of the journey of my life

I came to myself within a dark wood,

where the straight way was lost." ~ Dante Aligheri



Helpless, the wall denies us  the ability to think straight, has us rapt in our own little world,

we are desperate to move, but we do not know which foot to put out first, we do not know

which direction to head off towards, questioning every thought that could put us on a track

to find the solution that would put us around, over or through that wall.

Pray.

Do something for someone else.

Make a gratitude list.

Clear the wreckage of the past.      "Sorry" does not cut it.

Be willing to listen.

Start over, today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Afraid that you will go down the same path again, do not hesitate, only this time look around you

at all the path has to offer, do not concentrate on just the selfish carrot that is in front of your nose.

Believe that your Higher Power put that wall in front of you for a purpose.

The wall appears when one tries to do only their will, not the will of their Higher Power.

Remember, the wall is only a figment of your imagination, move a muscle, change your mind.

Remember, getting around the proverbial wall does not have to be an all day affair, do it now.

Alcohol and drugs, or any other addictive device, will never make the wall go away.

When you come to, come down, or sober up the wall will still be there.

Balance in your life is the answer to a straight path that is kind, loving, patient and tolerant,

and devoid of walls.

Today, keep your mirror handy and before you blame anyone else for building your

psychological walls, look into the mirror and see how perfect you think you are.

Today, let a friend carry your mirror, and remember it is called constructive criticism,

a very good tool for tearing down walls.

Today, by doing the will of your Higher Power, the only wall you should see

is the one in the rear view mirror.

"Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness,

 if cheerfulness be lost,

 is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak

as if cheerfulness were already there."   ~ William James

Ignore the wall, your mind created it, your mind can make it disappear.

Happiness is never finding a wall in the middle of your path.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

GIVING

LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO -

DECEMBER 13TH

Submitted by vktnewairagain on December 13th, 2010
GIVING

"Don't be afraid of giving. For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking. This is a temporary spot. We need to give and recieve. What is healthy giving? It is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation. It is giving with no strings attached. Giving is part of the chain of giving and recieving. We can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in LOVE.


Today, God, guide me in my giving. Help me give to others in healthy ways. Help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what I can afford to give.

Peace out...Valerie

Michael_e....
This is the first time that I have used my blog to carry a message from another writer.
Valerie is a new friend that writes from the heart and blogs "In The Rooms"
a very good, wonderful, nice, cozy, warm, supporting site, that can help everyone...

http://www.intherooms.com/

Apologize

An apology is a poor substitute for an excuse.

Sorry is not an apology.

"To apologize is to lay the foundation
for a future offense."   ~ Ambrose Bierce

Be kind, no apology needed.

Be loving, friends and family will help you change.

Be the person your Higher Power wants you to be,

God does not make mistakes.

God will give you the chance, make no apologies for

choosing to do the next right thing..

"It is good rule in life to never to apologize.
The right sort of people do not want apologies,
and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."   
~ P. G. Wodehouse

Those who seek an apology are those mean people

who want to hold your supposed offense over your head.

Be patient and tolerant of those who make demands.

Never apologize for the mistakes of others,

you will become guilty by association.

An apology is giving someone else the reins to your feelings.

"Never apologize for showing feeling.
When you do so, you apologize for the truth."   ~ Benjamin Disraeli

If you make a mistake that offends, make amends,

change, make restitution, but do not apologize.

Today, be happy, no apology necessary.

Today, laugh and love, and when the world tries

to apologize to you for their ignorance, accept

the apology and be the bigger person for it.

Happiness is loving life, with no apology required.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

The Turning Point

It was not until I was fifty years old, while I sat relating my

life to a new friend that was my first sponsor in AA, that I

realized how dysfunctional my entire life had been, how

my backward, addictive, stinking thinking had controlled

my life.

Before I picked up that first drink as a freshman in college

I had spent the first seventeen years of my life going in

opposite directions and/or smaller circles, compared to all

the kids that I grew up with, those whom I later learned

were almost normal.  I was the loner, I did not fit in,

my temper, my depression, and my emotions in general

did not fit what the Dr. Spock book said about how a

child should behave.

When my mother said, “Why don’t you act like your

 brother and sister?” I took it to mean that she loved

them more than me and I carried that unfounded idea

that I was not lovable to a whole new level of paranoia

for many years and it allowed me to build a resentment

of mountainous proportions.

.

Thank God for Alcoholics Anonymous . 

I am not sure how I found the rooms of AA because at the time I went to my first meeting I had no

idea what an alcoholic was, nor did the thought ever occur to me that I might be one. There are no coincidences, there are only God incidences.  The truth is that the message a Higher Power whishes

one to receive will be given, as many times as is necessary and the only requirement is that one learns

to listen for the message and hold no resentments against the messenger. One often learns the will of a

Higher Power through the words and actions of others, whether they be positive or negative lessons,

does not make a difference to your Higher Power, the message is that we learn from every experience

to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding.

The message to be carried is,

“you do not have to live that way any more, because there is a better way .”

There was no turning point that I can recall which could be specified as “the” moment, day, bright light,

or burning bush, that announced to my consciousness that I was an alcoholic of the worst ilk and that

I had spent nearly half a century in the clutches of an addictive personality.

The awareness of my alcoholic condition was a slow series of nudges from a Higher Power and they

were usually only partially conscious aha moments that came to me during meetings, (before, during and after) with other recovering people.

The path to serenity, peace of mind, spirituality and humility is and will always be a

journey to be enjoyed, one day at a time.

JUST TURN TOWARDS YOUR HIGHER POWER

Please be included in my prayers for all of my sober friends that their turning points may continue

to always move towards the better.

Michael_e

,,

Feeling Good

"If merely

'feeling good'

could decide,

drunkenness

would be the

supremely valid

human experience."

William James





Physically, drunkenness produces hangovers and dead brain cells.

Emotionally, drunkenness is selfish and self-centered.

Morally, drunkenness makes one do anything for love.

Spiritually, drunkenness hides the will of a loving Higher Power.

The supremely valid human experience is to learn and enjoy success,

a success that is the result of doing the will of a loving Divine Creator.

Today be a success by not drinking or drugging.

Happiness is learning that "feeling good" comes from success.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Sanity

The drunk and the dope fiend are insane.


The only logic to putting a poison

into ones body must be insanity.

Normal people smell alcohol

and they throw up, up-chuck, barf, puke

or whatever you want to call regurgitation,

and they will refuse to allow

the liquid to pass through, over or around their lips.

The alcoholic holds their nose, acquires a taste, and drinks as much as

they can consume and then they throw up, blaming it on the peanuts, the

pretzels, an empty stomach or a thousand other excuses, but never the drink.

Then the alcoholic takes a shower, brushes the teeth, takes a nap

and starts the insanity all over again, because it was fun, it made me feel like

I belonged, I danced better, I sang better, I felt no pain...

until the the next morning when the guilt and shame have returned

because I can't remember what, who, where, or why I did what I did.

Einstein, "Insanity is repeating old behaviors, expecting different results."

Recovery is being restored to normal thinking, which hopefully is sane.

Step one, don't drink, don't drug.

Step two, learn about the disease of alcoholism, addiction, the only

disease that tells you that you are not sick, the disease that wants you to

isolate, be alone, push away anyone who loves you and to kill yourself.

Step three, find a friend who has been there and done that, a person

who has recovered, a person who knows how insane your thinking is,

a person who will love you until you can learn to love yourself.

Step four, find a Higher Power; until your ego learns that you are not God,

that you are not invincible, that you are not terminally unique,

that you are not bullet proof, that your stuffed feelings are not fragile,

or you will become nothing but a dry drunk whose misery and suffering

will take you back to the drink or drug.

Step five, change something, change anything, change everything,

as suggested, people, places and things and most importantly,

change your attitude.

Steps six, seven, eight and nine, clean house and repair the wreckage of the past.

To make amends is not just to say you are sorry, it means to change,

to become the person God wants you to be, to be responsible and sane.

Steps ten and eleven, seek to maintain a conscious contact with a Higher Power

and learn to live one day at a time, no regrets for yesterdays history,

no worry for tomorrows mystery, maintaining a spiritual condition

that will keep you sane.

Step twelve, work with another drunk, carry the message of change,

and know that insanity is always waiting in the wings, doing push-ups

knowing that those who do not keep moving forward can have their

stinking thinking, suffering and misery returned to them in an instant.

Learn to have an attitude of gratitude, know that your Higher Power

needs you to carry the recovery message to the still sick and suffering,

alive, not as a statistic.

God will give you the chance, the choice is yours.

When you want to stay sober more than you want to drink,

you will have been restored to normal thinking.

When others want what you have, serenity, peace of mind, happy,

joyous and free from guilt and shame, a life beyond our wildest dreams,

you will have been restored to sanity.

 "Sanity is a madness put to good use."  ~ George Santayana

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #2

Addictive disease contains all FIVE conditions
that are required to qualify as a disease.

1) PRIMARY: The disease is not a symptom of
another  condition, and exists independently
of other disease processes.

2) CHRONIC: There is no cure. Abstinence is necessary to
stop the behavioral and physical progression of the disease.

3) PROGRESSIVE: Signs and symptoms become more
severe over time.

4) PRONE TO RELAPSE: Once the disease has
progressed to the point where the symptoms are obvious,
it becomes abnormal for the individual not to use.
The individual must learn how to not use and must have
a preventive program in place to prevent relapse.

5) POTENTIALLY FATAL: All addictive diseases can kill either directly or indirectly.

There are also TWO dominant characteristics of addiction.

1) TOLERANCE: As the result of cellular adaptation at the neuron level in the brain, it becomes necessary to have an increase in use to achieve the same affect.
2) PHYSICAL DEPENDENCY: Progressively severe withdrawal symptoms of which the most important are those which originate in the brain itself. As an addictive disease progresses it is these characteristics, tolerance and dependency, which motivate continued use rather than anything else in the addict/alcoholics life.

   The above is a definition, alcoholics are individuals, therefore, every alcoholic has his own diagnosis, his own time frame for the progression of the disease, the different nuances of this and that, which they (the alcoholic) use to deny that they have a problem. Every alcoholic is a square peg trying to fit into a round hole,(or visa verse). As regards the Chronic part of the definition, medication may help some, hypnosis may help some, but once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic and the only sane way to survive the disease is not to drink or drug, ever.
   Progression can be illustrated by noting that some teenagers begin way out of control and are dead by the time they are twenty-one. Some addicts and alcoholics start out hard and hardy and have a good long run before the problems catch up to them. Some start out slowly and go many years, with few problems, until they reach a point where they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. There are exceptions: the traffic accident victim who is severely hurt and requires large doses of pain killers to survive and when they are healed, they are hooked. Grandma and Grandpa retire, never drank, now they decide to have a toddy to help them sleep; the kids finally catch on and send them to the rehab.The Prone to Relapse part of the disease definition is a topic that will be discussed in a series of separate blogs after more discussions about the bad behaviors of alcoholics.
  The only constant is that all of the victims will deny that they do not have a problem. 
Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you do not have a disease.
The pain, the agony, the suffering and the misery are always caused by someone else.
Be sympathetic of the addict who is trying to quit drinking and drugging, but remember,
tough love may be the only sane way that you have to defend yourself from the alcoholic.

Please remember, they are sick people trying to get well, not bad people trying to become good.

The following is a link to one of the more highly recommended rehabilitation facilities
on the east coast of the United States.

http://www.fathermartinsashley.com Happiness is helping someone help themselves. Michael_e

Recovery...as this drunk sees it #1

"The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."
~ W. C. Fields

The first word that needs to be understood before anyone
can even begin to deal with an addict/alcoholic is:

Denial....

D - don't
E - even
N -no (know)
I - I
A - am
L - lying

How can you tell when an alcoholic is lying??
- His lips are moving.

   Most people are good, moral, upstanding individuals who know the difference between right and wrong. Under the influence, alcoholics forget everything that has to do with making the right choice and they go into a survival mode. If it takes lying, cheating and stealing to get more of the substance that their bodies crave, they will do what they must to get it. The denial system of survival set up by the sick and suffering may and usually involves and affects everyone around them.
   Those who allow (or refuse to admit) the alcoholics immoral behaviors become the enablers of the addict/alcoholic. Enablers, (husband, wives, parents, bosses, friends? employers, significant others)
are in themselves very sick and need education or treatment just as badly as the alcoholic.

   Rehabilitation means to return an individual back to a sane and normal moral existence.

   During the rehabilitation process education means to discover those behaviors that are destructive to the alcoholic and those around him, and compare them to the behaviors that are acceptable.
Treatment is the series of exercises and activities suggested to change the identified negative behaviors into acceptable ones.
   After the in-patient treatment, most good rehab facilities will have a new lifestyle plan for the client to put into place upon their release from the facility. This next phase of recovery is a topic for future posts.
   One drink for the alcoholic who is trying to rehabilitate themselves means a total destruction of any progress that may have been made towards the return to a normalized behavior pattern. Often, a relapse by an addict/alcoholic, may add insult to injury. The affected has, by relapsing, added additional guilt and shame to their already diminished egos.Treatment for the relapsed addict/alcoholic (a client who has completed at least one prior stay at a 28 day facility) is a totally different and specific entity in the rehab/treatment field. Some of the more prominent rehabilitation centers in the United States have separate satellite locations or separate on campus facilities specifically assigned to relapse clients.

   Rehab, education, and treatment are to no avail if the affected do not cooperate.

   You can tell a drunk, but you can't tell him much.

   Although this article is addressed to the Addict/Alcoholic, most of the attitudes and behaviors described can be attributed to those who suffer from addictive personalities. It is not what substance one uses, but how they abuse the substance. Gambling, food, sex, workaholic, or any other obsessive compulsive behavior that cause an individual to neglect normal responsibilities or make improper moral judgements, are included in the treatable realm of addictive disorders.
   Many rehabilitation centers are exclusive to one type of addiction or to a select few addictions that they deem to be equally well treated by their program.
   Be aware that some of the addictions may be better treated in a clinic situation . Sex and Love addicts and the dual diagnosed usually do better when they are in controlled therapy sessions (Self-help programs) in addition to their twelve step program work. Many self help meetings are not advertised the way AA meetings are publicly scheduled and may need to be sought out by seeking professional guidance. This secrecy is not to hide from public scrutiny to avoid the social stigma, it is done to keep sexual predators and untreated deviates from stalking the vulnerable individuals who need to attend the meetings. Doctors and lawyers have a referral system they use to keep their self help meetings limited to only those in their profession. This type of activity is against the traditions of AA, however, this type of exclusivity only helps to underscore the negative stigma that alcoholism has in the general society.

The following link is to one of the most highly recommended Drug and Alcohol treatment centers in the United States. This facility is located in the eastern mid-Atlantic states area.
http://www.fathermartinsashley.com

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

Mantram

"The mantram becomes one's staff of life and carries one through every ordeal.


Each repetition has a new meaning, carrying you nearer


and nearer to God."   ~Mahatma Gandhi

Don't have a mantra yet,

borrow one of mine:

"God grant me the serenity to accept

those thingsI cannot change, (Other People)

courage to change the things I can, (Me),

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Or:

Be kind, be loving, be patient and tolerant, be forgiving,

be the person God wants you to be.

Or:

God help me.

Or:

Seek out a sponsor, a friend, a person in the rooms who has what you want, and ask

them if you may borrow their mantra.

Everybody who is seeking spiritual progress has a mantra, a prayer, a way to seek

the will of their loving Higher Power.

God loves you or He would not have led you to the rooms so that you can get

clean, sober up and be able to better do His will.

Today, repeat after me, repeat after your sponsor, repeat after a true friend,

there is a better way.

Today, may you be blessed with one day of sobriety, may you find your mantra,

and may you find a pathway to spiritual progress that is happy, joyous and free.

Michael_e

Sobriety and a Niche Market

"The worst thing about some men is
that when they are not drunk they are sober."

 ~ William Butler Yeats

Sobriety is a good niche market with estimates from various US National and World agencies stating that roughly 10% of the world’s population is affected by the disease of addictive personality.

Subsequent blog posts to this will concentrate mostly on the alcoholism, however, the physical maladies of the brain and the emotional affect on the psyche will be similar among addicts, regardless of the substance they use. Drugs, (prescribed or street), food, sex, gambling, codependency, shopping and numerous other
obsessive compulsive behaviors can be identified and treated in a similar manner as alcoholism.

As a niche market it is, however, not a lucrative money maker, because the drunk spent all his money on booze. Although the previous statement was intended to be funny, the sad but more realistic reason for the limited market is the social stigma that is still associated with one being an alcoholic Another reason that insurance companies and other agencies are unwilling to spend money on qualified treatment has been the limited success rate of treatment programs. Claims of success in excess of 5% are usually qualified with a disclaimer. The illusion that one is spending good money on a bad person is tacitly real. Sometimes the affected family, employer, or the courts, find resources to finance treatment for the sick and suffering, but funding is limited and limited funding reduces the quality of the treatment programs.

The drunk seldom suffers, until he tries to sober up.

One of the greatest travesties in the United States of America is that Insurance Companies are allowed to dictate to the treatment community how long treatment will be and what treatment will consist of. The concept of the 28 day treatment regime has been dictated by the Insurance companies and has absolutely no relevance to the need of the individual patient. If a patient needs a longer exposure to primary treatment and possibly extended treatment, they are rarely covered for the additional expenses.
One of the more successful programs to relieve the alcoholic of his physical and mental dependency is (AA) Alcoholic Anonymous. The basis for the AA program is a belief in a spiritual condition produced by the individuals understanding of a Higher Power. As soon as the insurance companies see or hear of anything that is not a medical/drug treatment program they are adamant about providing treatment. To bring a God into the realm of personal well being is not politically correct nor does it warrant the expenditure of their monies. The concept of insurance is a very vague and mysterious market, and when it concerns a drunk you can be assured that cost of treatment is limited to doctors and drugs. However, every life has a value and unless one tries to help, no one will know who may or may not benefit from treatment. Just like the disease of diabetes an alcoholic has a brain physiology that has been altered. Once altered the brain can never be returned to what may be considered normal. The analogy that is most commonly used to explain this phenomenon is:" you can make a cucumber into a pickle, but once a pickle always a pickle, never to be a cucumber again."

A recent TV campaign from a California rehab, owned by a man who wrote a book, is absolutely silly.
Anyone claiming a cure is not in their right mind, nor their left mind. The man should be taken off the air for spamming. Great marketing, and sure to believe, he'll make money. Insurance companies support his program because it is medically ascribed to. He avoids false advertising suspicion by making no claims to percentage of treatment success.

Today's economic conditions are only going to feed the fires of abuse, and subsequent need for better or alternative treatments. Stress and sudden changes in life styles can be devastating to the average person. Should that person have an addictive personality, the need to stop the depressing feelings of guilt, shame and failure will almost surely lead to substance or behavioral abuses.

If the drunk is not willing to change, someone is wasting their time and money.

Happiness is the soul that is sick and tired of being sick and tired and is willing to seek to change.

My friend, here is hoping for you that you want to be sober more than you want to stay drunk.

Michael_e

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde write “TGIF” on her shoes?

A: Toes Go In First

It is not funny;

it is degrading, humiliating, insensitive, crude, rude and obnoxious,       

and I did it because I received my self esteem by putting others down.

Racial, ethnic, crippled or blind, the jokes were designed

to make sure that you did not look at the true me.

I could not stand to look at the real me, how could I expect a stranger to like the person who did not fit in, who was not good enough, who was different, who had too many skeletons hiding in the closet.

The grandiose psyche, the pretend persona, the false façade, the good time Charlie who commanded the prime seat at the end of the bar and was the ring leader of all stupid conversations, the conversations that cured all of the ills in this world, and yet, I was still the loneliest person on this Earth.

Today, I no longer need to tell jokes.

God has shown me that the joke was on me.

The joke is I have a disease and I allowed my powerlessness over that disease to warp my conscious and unconscious thoughts, my self esteem and my perception of the world.

Today I no longer need to be lonely because there is a fellowship of other recovering alcoholics and addicts who support the true and honest me.

My God does not make any junk.

The road I traveled from drunk to recovered is my experience, strength and hope that I share with others who suffer from the same disease.

Today, if I follow the path of my loving Higher Power, the road is always paved with kindness and love and I know that God has a place for me to fit in, I am good enough to do His will, my uniqueness is not terminal, and the skeletons have been removed from the closet, by the grace of God.

No joke.

Laugh, love, dance, sing and enjoy life the way God meant it to be.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e

I Don’t Care

I don’t care

that you don’t care

about your sobriety,

but please

respect the rights

of others.

A 12 Step meeting usually last one hour and for a number of reasons you should be in you seat when the meeting is started and you should still be in your seat when the meeting is over.

Although the format of the meeting is arbitrary the reason for the meeting and the participation of the attendees is always a constant, to carry the message to all who seek sobriety.
If the meeting begins with prayer or readings one should listen closely to the words, there may be a key to today’s peace of mind in the message.
If you had a good sponsor, the person who walked you through the steps and explained How It Works for him and others, he would be remiss if he did not explain that the way to recovery is change.
Therefore, no matter how many times you have heard the prayer, no matter how many times you have heard the readings, listen closely because today is a different day, the world has changed and the words in the message may be heard differently today because hopefully you also have changed.

It was once pointed out to me that when someone is sharing there are a few reasons that we should be very attentive to their story:
Hopefully their message has to do with the topic of the meeting and hopefully the topic is about not drinking, one day at a time.
It also can be very devastating to a person sharing their pain, struggles, guilt, remorse and shame to look up and see two people talking and laughing, the automatic reaction is for the sharer to believe that they are laughing at him and his reason for seeking sobriety is shattered, his trust in the fellowship destroyed.
The person you are talking to may miss the necessary tool to keep their sobriety because you were taking their focus away from the true message.
Respect, if someone is sharing from the heart about HOW the program works,
“learn to listen and listen to learn.”

Although the program of AA is suggested, there are some rules of etiquette that should be adhered to at meetings:
Get your coffee and sit down, the next cup will wait until the meeting is over.
Only one activity at a time should be happening, do not pass around telephone list, collection baskets, announcements, cake or cards while readings or sharing is happening.
Clean up is after the meeting is over, coffee for after the meeting is important.
Do not put your telephone on vibrate and leave the meeting at any time to answer calls, if you are on call and you must be available to be called in case of emergencies, sit next to the door in the rear, and do not share your experience, strength and hope unless you are able to do so without interruption.
You know, keep your sharing brief, you know, and to the topic, you know, because most people, you know, begin to repeat themselves in three to five minutes, you know, and no, I do not know, because
if I did know I would not be at a meeting seeking wisdom from someone who can help me stay sober,
one day at a time.

AA is a spiritual program shared by humble people who leave their egos at the door.

There is no such thing as a bad meeting; it is only that some meetings are better than others.

Today, do your part, sit for an hour and make your meeting the best meeting in town.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

           

Drama

Drama is nothing but a poorly written comedy.

The difference between success and failure

is an opinion.

Drama assumes that you believe everything

is a failure.

Chaos is drama with a tad of hysteria

added for spice.

Funny is when you realize the absurdity

of the drama.

A good comedian pokes fun at how serious we think we are.
"Remember that you are an actor in a drama,
of such a part as it may please the master to assign you,
for a long time or for a little as he may choose.
And if he will you to take the part of a poor man,
or a cripple, or a ruler, or a private citizen,
then may you act that part with grace!
For to act well the part that is allotted to us,
that indeed is ours to do,
but to choose it is another story."   ~ Epictetus

Drama is not accepting the will of your Higher Power.

Drama is trying to write the next chapter of your life's story

to come out the way you want it to.

Drama is not changing when change is needed.

If other people, places and things are creating drama in your life, move up, move on,

move out, move a muscle and change a thought and get on with the happy side of your life.

Teach your children drama and they will fail, teach them laughter and love and they will

succeed in having no drama in their lives.

This world is not a drama of the good guys versus the bad guys, it is your world to love.

Beware of the devil and his devices or vices and do not become a bad guy.

To avoid drama avoid the seven deadly sins.

If you seek to do the will of your Higher Power on a daily basis

the surprises in life will be less dramatic.

Seeking God's help after you have run the train off the tracks is how dramas are created.

Pray for guidance to accept God's will and then go out and work your tail off to make

your life successful, comfortable and a benefit to yourself and all who meet you.

Eliminate drama by doing God's will:

being kind is not dramatic,

being loving is not traumatic,

being patient and tolerant involves no conflict,

there is no chaos in acting out the role your Higher Power has given you.

"There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility.
Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy." ~ Mark Twain

God will give you the chance, you must make the choice.

Laugh often, Sing loud, And  Dance when you get the chance!

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Dramatically yours, Michael_e

The Whole Body Smile

Smile, it makes them wonder what you are up to.

No, not that smarmy, guilty looking grin that the Cheshire Cat wore

to help make Alice into the star she is today.

No, not that slight curvature of the corners of your mouth

that you force onto your face when the little old lady

pinches your cheek.

Yes, your real smile, the one that goes from the top of your

head all the way down to your toes, “the whole body smile.”

Never heard of it, don't know how to do it??

Just follow these simple instructions, these twelve easy steps:

1) Be happy:  It is an attitude, just do it.

2) Clear your brain of any activity:  (Like thinking) For most of us
there is no effort required, this is better known as our normal state of mind.

3) Open your eyes:  Sparkling, smiling, laughing eyes are beautiful to behold
and the wonder is how those smiling eyes see things more clearly.
Every day something new is born into this world.
Smile, God made it just for you to enjoy.

4) Shut your mouth:  You cannot hear when your mouth is moving,
nor can you smile when you mouth is moving.

5) Clean out your ears:  Listen closely to others and heed the word of God.
God has endowed man with the ability to make beautiful music,
learn to listen and listen to enjoy.

6) Relax.: Ever notice that the back of your neck is always tense,
bad habit, smiles make the stress go away.

7) Follow your heart:  Love enormously, love often and smile when you think of
those that you love. Remember that you may like things, you may enjoy things,
you may want things, but your only need is to love people, God and pets.

8) Hug everything, even trees: God has given you two arms and two hands
so that you may hold onto those things that make you smile, however,
we must remember that God’s will may take those things from us at anytime
and we must let go and learn to smile when we remember the good times.
Hand in hand we will do for each other what we cannot do alone
If you are holding my hand I cannot pick up a drink.

9) Trust your gut feelings: God has given you the intuitive instincts
to protect your feelings from being hurt.
Learn to smile when you say "I told you so."

10) Move out of the way: God has given you two legs to allow you
to motivate your body to places that are happy.
Go there.
Smile in anticipation while you are moving towards your happy destination,
and make the smile even larger when you have reached your goal.

11) Dance: God has given you two feet to celebrate the rest of your body.
Don't think about it, don't talk about it, see it, feel it, trust it,
listen to the music and move to the rhythm of God's earth.

12) Toes know: When your toes are happy,
you will know you have learned “the whole body smile.”

Smile, this is God's candid camera watching you do his will.

Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.

The Doctors orders are to repeat the process as often as necessary and share
with everyone whom you think would also benefit from “The Whole Body Smile.”

SMILE :)

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

Michael_e    :)

Friend

"Don't walk in front of me,
I may not follow;
Don't walk behind me,
I may not lead;
Walk beside me,
and just be my friend."

~ Albert Camus




In AA, a sponsor is a friend who will walk with you hand in hand as you journey through the steps.

Some people are eventually able to let go of their sponsors hand and make the journey through
a sober life by holding the hand of the newcomer.

However, it is well documented that walking alone can only lead to jails, institutions or death.

Even if you claim that your Higher Power is always in your heart, always walking with you hand in hand, most sober people will tell you that working with another drunk is the only way to find the pathway to peace of mind and serenity.

A Higher Power is the only one who can carry you through the quicksand of alcoholism when your sick mind tells you that all of your friends have deserted you, but, however,and if you have faith in a Higher Power, trust in the fellowship of AA, and have a sponsor that you listen to, they will always lead you to more friends.

To have a friend, be a friend.

Go to a meeting, be welcomed back, and know that when you reach out for help the hand of AA will always be there, for there are many responsible sober people there who know how it works.

Learn about the disease of alcoholism, how it progresses, how it tells you that you do not have it, how it wants you to isolate, be alone, push away anyone that loves you and wants you to kill yourself.

Go to a meeting when you think things are really bad and God will put somneone in front of you that has been there, done that, or is in a position that is possibly worse than you could ever imagine.

Learn how to have an attitude. Don't stomp, tread lightly.

Know that misery and suffering are optional.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts
and we are never, ever the same." ~ Anonymous

Many blessings my friend. . . . Michael_e

Mystical Faculties

"The sway of alcohol over mankind
is unquestionably due to its power to
stimulate the mystical faculties of
human nature, usually crushed to earth
by the cold facts and dry criticisms
of the sober hour.
Sobriety diminishes, discriminates,
and says no;
drunkenness expands, unites,
and says yes."   ~ William James



"We will intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle us."




Who doesn't love to hear the word "YES", but, and the yes buts will allow us to feed into the mystical faculties of justification. There was always a very good reason that we took every drink and drug that we ever used to find the mystical world of Alice and Puff and the many pink elephants that tripped the light fantastic on our brains.

As we learn more about our disease, the stinking thinking, the backward brain, we come to rely upon our intuition and discover that we have always known the right from the wrong, Mother was always right, Father knew best, but the Devil had control of the mystical faculties and we were powerless over alcohol.

Today, it is O.K. to say no, it is all right to limit ourselves to doing the next right thing for family, friend and fellowship, it is good to discriminate against mean people, evil places, and the things that caused the guilt and shame, the remorse of why did I do that.

Today, "We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves,"
and we will live by faith,we will learn to justify our right actions,and we will become the people that our Higher Power wants us to be.

Today, we will learn that the "Mystical Faculties" were nothing but a figment of our sick imagination, curable by the grace of a loving God of our understanding.

Just say no....

Quotes from BB, p 84