Friendship

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"Remember,
we all stumble,
every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort
to go hand in hand."

~ Emily Kimbrough

Gratitude for friends is a happy

way to start your day.

Who taught you your A B C 's?

Who played with you on the playground?

Who carried your books for you when you hurt your arm?

Who did you hang out with after school?

Remember your teammates? The people in the band were cool friends.

School's out, Memories past, Don't ever doubt, Our friendship will last.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile,

make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.

Friendships come and go, people move on, move up, move out.

C'est la vie.

If you have never had a friend it is because you did not want one.

"A friend is a present you give to yourself." Robert Louis Stevenson

Friendship is not a serious commitment that will choke you and cause you to lose yourself.

That is called marriage. Unless you married your best friend. This day I will marry my friend,

the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love. Two lives, two hearts joined together in

friendship united forever in love.

"A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue."
~ Russian Proverb

Real friends agree to disagree. Guess that is what makes a spouse a really true friend.

Friendship is a sometimes communication that will benefit everyone. A good friend

will encourage you and help you grow. A good friend will be beside you in times of woe.

To have a good friend you must be a good friend. Listen, when it is your turn. This is

why pets make such great friends, they only listen and they always agree with you.

"There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child."
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Faith, your Higher Power will never allow you to be friendless. You may meet that person

only once, but a shared kindness will make you friends forever. Just be a friend until the

next time we meet, and if we never meet again, thanks for being there then.

Have gratitude, be a friend.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Unique

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  The one and only,

the sole soul,

not somewhat unique,

not very unique,

but just uniquely you.

Unique is the chance

that a Higher Power gives everyone, every day.

What you do with that chance is your choice.

We all are expected to do the will of a Higher Power; be kind, be loving,

be the person God wants us to be. How uniquely we do His will is our chance

to make a choice. Whatever skills and talents, energies or resources that we may

have been given by our Higher Power are more than adequate for us to do a

unique thing to make this world a better place.

"The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry.
And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is uniquely yours." ~ Leo Buscaglia

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Similar is not the same as.

Your happiness is the will of a Higher Power

giving you a unique chance to help make this world a better place.

Happiness is liking yourself.

"The more you like yourself,
the less you are like anyone else,
which makes you unique." ~ Walt Disney

Spirituality is your unique contact with your Higher Power.

Your spirituality is learning to identify yourself. You are not a parent, a spouse,

a job, a relationship, a career, you are a unique person whom your Higher Power

has given the opportunity to do His will. Faith is your ability to believe in God's

goodness and grace and His predetermined unique purpose for your life.

A positive attitude searches out and celebrates the unique.

Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.

Happiness is knowing how unique you are.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Under That Tree

I just read a post written

(and very well I might add)

by a teacher who wondered about the child

who did not join in with the others during

outdoor recess, but chose to stand under

a lone tree in the yard. The writer attempted

to surmise why one would choose to not

join the others and some of the suppositions

were almost accurate, however, I know the deep seated reason

because I was one who stood under the tree.

There is a minority of people in this world whose brains are on backwards,

"The Kindred Spirits of the Backward Brain," and their minds are always racing

and making unjustified and unwarranted suppositions that were never true, but,

to the backward brain they made sense. No one likes me, I am not good enough,

what if I fail, trip, can't keep up, they'll laugh at me, negative, negative, negative

and the tree understands. The tree does not judge, the tree doesn't care, the tree

provides a perfect place to hide, and the tree and I know the truth.

The truth is that there is a neurological malfunction in the brain that does not permit

the proper transmission or reception of  the chemicals in the brain.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity disorder, Obsessive Compulsive, extrovert, introvert,

to a level where the daily expected routines and social interactions are disrupted.

The addictive personality, I'll show you, I'll kill myself with posion, alcohol, drugs,

food, work, sex, or any other form of instant gratification that comes down the pike

is the usual pathway that the troubled mind follows.

One is to many and a thousand are never enough.

They isolate, but when the do join in it is the bizarre, the occult, the shock value to

the norm that helps their infiority complex justify its existence.

Let us all get peircings, tattoos, wear black and pretend that we are all different

while all the time we are screaming for inclusion into this world,

knowing we can't see the forest for the tree.

Science and medicine are daily finding out more on how the brain functions, which

areas of the brain control which survival functions, pleasure centers, eating triggers,

aging and which chromosones  will genetically predisposition  one to become a part

of the lost ten percent, the kindred spirits of the backward brain.

Love, patience, tolerance, forgiveness and a willingness to look past the tree

have allowed many of the lost to find their way, however, anger and hate are

still a part of our DNA and much more needs to be studied until a true cure is found.

Today, do your part to put the fun in dys"FUN"ction, hug a tree.

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ME and the Boss

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http://swervingforbutterflies.com/2012/10/17/466/
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Perfectionism

  Who are we to think

that we can compete with God.

We might think that something

is or is not perfect, but what a

Higher Power knows will be

the last word.

"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best.
It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves,
the part that tells us that nothing we do
will ever be good enough -
that we should try again."   ~ Julia Cameron

First we must consider that perfect is a relative word.

Everyone has a different perspective on what is perfect.

You cannot please all the people all the time and remember

to include yourself in that number.

Secondly, anything we do is good enough, unless someone

else is paying you to do something different.

Sometimes it becomes impossible to work for the perfectionist.

Next, we must consider that perfectionism is a waste of time.

Why would one want to spend three days trying to perfect

one idea when you could have completed three ideas,

one each day, one day at a time, and those three ideas would be

good enough to please some of the people some of the time.

How you do the job is of no consequence, a left handed and a right handed

person usually attempt to do the same job by starting it at different angles,

just remember that the goal is to get the job done.

Even between two perfectionists there is room for a happy medium.

"Perfectionism is the enemy of creation,
as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being."   ~ John Updike 

Expectations become an important part of learning how to change

the bad habit of perfectionism.

Make your expectations realistic and attainable.

Lowering your expectations to make sure that you can succeed

is not a sign of imperfection in your character.

Succeeding at lesser goals usually means that you have just rearranged

your ultimate goal into smaller steps.

Perfectionism is a bad habit.

Anyone can break a habit.

Accept the new habit of peace and serenity in your life.

Accept that as one grows older, what is done is done, perfect or not.

Allow a Higher Power to select many goals and expectations to come

into your life so that you can do His/Her will.

A well rounded life that has attempted many things can be much more

rewarding than not succeeding at perfecting anything.

Life goes on, what was perfect yesterday is now perfect history

and today's expectations are in the hand of God.

Have faith that a perfect tomorrow will be given to those

that have been blessed by their Higher Power.

For those who want to live life perfectly today,

let us just say that we did.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Assumptions

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I have the vanity,

pretentiousness,

the arrogance,

to believe that anything I say

is a fact or a statement

that should be taken

for granted as being true.

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I assume that you know how important I think I am.

I assume that I know what your motives are.

I assume that I know the will of a Higher Power.

I should know that the more I assume, the more stupid I appear to be.

The only accurate assumption is that things will change.

"Sometimes, things are predictable to a definitive fact,
provided you do not let the arrogance of assumption
cloud your assuredness."                                                   ~ Carl Stoynoff

Today, I will assume that what I believe to be fact could be wrong.

"One of the prevailing sources of misery and crime is in the generally
accepted assumption, that because things have been wrong a long time,
it is impossible they will ever be right."                                                     ~ John Ruskin

Today, I will assume that things will change.

Today, I will assume that if I do the will of a Higher Power, things will be right.

Assume that everyone needs your kindness.

Assume that everyone deserves your unconditional love.

Assume that patience and tolerance will resolve conflict.

Assume that forgiveness will heal all wounds.

Assume that you can be the person your Higher Power expects you to be.

Happiness is not having to assume.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Guilt

. Creating guilt is not strictly reserved

for Jewish mothers.

"My mother should have been Jewish.
She could have taught a class on how
to induce guilt." ~ Lorna Luft

The cause of guilt is not how others make

us feel, but how we feel about others.

People pleasers are always feeling guilty.

People who are happy and content with

their relationship with their Higher Power

rarely feel guilt.

Trying to manipulate others by causing them to feel guilt and shame

is a mean and nasty thing to do.

What was the offense and how grievous was it?

Guilt is not an error of omission, it is an error of commission.

If you were never informed and it happened in spite of you,

you do not have to feel guilty.

Never feel guilty about learning something new.

Even an old dog can learn new tricks, if they want to.

If you meant to do it and it was the next right thing to do,

have no feelings of guilt and remorse.

If you meant to do it and it harms someone or something,

you are guilty.

You can never take back a stone that was thrown or an unkind word that was said.

"We are sinful not only because we have eaten
of the Tree of Knowledge, but also because we
have not yet eaten of the Tree of Life.
The state in which we are is sinful,
irrespective of guilt."                                              ~ Franz Kafka

Know that guilt pains the soul and learn to use that knowledge to help you

choose to do the next right thing.

"Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't." ~ Alan Cohen

Today, find a friend who will teach you how to achieve serenity and will do so

without causing you guilt or shame.

Today, keep a conscious contact with a Higher Power and know that

by doing His will there can be no guilt.

Today, think positive, be kind, be loving, be forgiving and be the person

your Higher Power wants you to be.

Happiness is not being guilty.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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P.S. - Lorna Luft's mother was Judy Garland.
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Fog

. The fog comes on little cat feet.
It sits looking over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.         ~ Carl Sandburg

Whether induced by drugs or alcohol,

by unhealthy obsessive behaviors,

by a dominating parent or spouse,

by low self esteem, by your boss at work

or by your best friend,

a fog that clouds ones thinking may exist

and you do not even know it.

The fog lets other people, places and things dictate the choices you make in your life.

"There are people who want to be everywhere at once,
and they get nowhere."                                                        ~ Carl Sandburg

Who to go with, where to go, and when to go, become the decisions that you cannot make

responsibly.

I'll have one more drink; the wife never misses me anyhow.

I'll take one more pill, the nap will do me good, the kids can find their own way home.

A coffee and a doughnut (or a half dozen) will calm my upset stomach,

I will start the diet tomorrow.

Mom will be mad at me if I don't go visit her today, I can reschedule the doctors appointment.

My husband will beat me for no reason at all.

My best friend wants to go shopping today, I have some food budget money that I can use.

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."

- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

Time is required to recognize the condition, time is required to let the fog lift,
 
and then it becomes the time to start growing up.

Change me, change myself and I change.

Mind, body and soul need to come out of the fog and see the light that is the will

of a Higher Power. A clear mind, along with the ability to hear and heed the advice

of friends and a healthy family, can allow you to make better choices.

A health body can give you the energy and the will to make better choices.

A happy soul, the Spirit of the Universe which is in you,

will do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

Be kind, be loving and be the person that your Higher Power wants you to be.

Pray to make your life clear of any mist or fog.

Meditate, remember to listen for the answer.

Happiness is seeing the fog lift.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss
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Thankful

. Thank, thanks, thanked, thank you, thank God,

all of these words come from the same Old English

12th century thanc, and have to do with gratitude.

Thankful is to be aware of benefits received.

Thankful is more than being grateful, it is to be obliged,

gratified, contented, satisfied, indebted to, beholden,

pleased, kindly disposed, appreciative, and overwhelmed.

Gratitude is a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors

or benefits received.. You cannot have one, gratitude,

without the other, thankfulness.

"God has two dwellings; one in heaven,
and the other in a meek and thankful heart." ~ Izaak Walton

Life is not one thankful. Life is to have much thankfulness for the many blessings

received every day. The more kindness you have in your heart, the more kindness

you will receive from others. The more love you have in your soul, the more love

you will receive from others. Others are what we must be thankful for.

"If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share." ~ W. Clement Stone

It is O.K. to thank God for your blessings, but it is more important to know that God

only gave you the chance to be kind and loving, it was your choice, your faith, that

allowed you to receive the benefits of God's will. Learn to be thankful for the talents,

the skills, and the opportunity that have been God sent for you to be you. Things mean

nothing if you do not have someone to share them with. If you acquire things for selfish

motives, you will lose them in embarrassing ways.

The antonyms of thankful are ungrateful, insensible, and thankless.

Notice that God made it is too easy to make the choice to be thankful.

Be patient and tolerant, the one you love may not be perfect, but then again nobody is.

  "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

It takes two to begat. Kindness will begat kindness. Love will begat love.

Being the person God wants you to be will begat blessings.

Happiness is having more begats than the Bible.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Vision

. Do not let your vision

be limited by another persons

vain attempt to explain how

humanity works in God's world.

Allow your minds eye to see

what ever your Higher Power

has put into your imagination.

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~ Louisa May Alcott

Have the faith to conceive even though you may not yet have the strength to believe.

"Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
not as they ought to be." ~ Ambrose Bierce

Do not be the cynic or the critic, allow others to explain their visions to you

and then take what you want and leave the rest. Everything has a negative and

a positive, a sunny side and a dark side, the good and the bad, believe what

you feel is the next right thing, the vision that your Higher Power has given you.

A Higher Power has given everyone the ability to envision things, so that we

may all strive to make something more of ourselves.

"Champions aren't made in the gyms.
Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -
- a desire, a dream, a vision."                             ~ Muhammad Ali

An idea is a single thought, a single step, whereas a vision is the complete

stairway into the unknown. Do not step blindly, use the direction, the will

of a Higher Power, to build a stairway that will rise to the occasion.

Today, do not limit your vision, dream large.

Today, may all your visions be of charming sights.

Today, have the courage to live your dreams.

Happiness is a vision from God.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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Ownership

Ownership is not a right that can be demanded,

ownership is a privilege that must be earned.

Work for it.

People, places and things. Mind, body and soul.

Friends and lovers are partnerships in which

we must take responsibility for partial

ownership.

Work at the relationship, do not just keep score

 

and do only your half of the work, know that

 

some days you may have to work harder than

 

 others and some days you may have to do all of the work.

"When you make a commitment to a relationship,
you invest your attention and energy in it more
profoundly because you now experience
ownership of that relationship."                              ~Barbara De Angelis

Do not let yourself be abused, the friend or lover must know how you feel about

their efforts when you feel they are falling short.

If all of the time in the relationship is spent on judging each others efforts,

the effort should be made to change ownership.

Never own a relationship to the point of jealousy.

 If you take ownership and deal with things that are bothering you,

then, by the very process of dealing with them, they very often will go away.

Places can be owned, but know in your heart that a

Higher Power made this world for all to enjoy.

Practice stewardship and share your space with

those who have a like mind to conserve and preserve.

Things which are owned are not a substitute for self esteem.

Keep your pride in balance and own only what you need.

Mind your mind, ownership of your thoughts and actions

is key to living a life that is happy, joyous and free.

"Freeing yourself was one thing;
claiming ownership of that freed self was another."   ~Toni Morrison

Think good, think positive, live good and prosper.

You own your body and keeping a sound mind in a

healthy body leads to a life that is to be enjoyed.

You do not own your soul.

Take ownership of all the aspects of your life,

the people, places and things, the mind and the body,

and your soul will be content to do the will of your Higher Power.

Your soul is the enjoyment of life that completes the Universe,

the responsibility of making this world a better place for all,

no matter who thinks they own what.
 
Ownership is respecting yourself, others and your Higher Power.

Laugh, love and let your heart dance, for you own this moment.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

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ME and the Boss

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