The Turning Point

It was not until I was fifty years old, while I sat relating my

life to a new friend that was my first sponsor in AA, that I

realized how dysfunctional my entire life had been, how

my backward, addictive, stinking thinking had controlled

my life.

Before I picked up that first drink as a freshman in college

I had spent the first seventeen years of my life going in

opposite directions and/or smaller circles, compared to all

the kids that I grew up with, those whom I later learned

were almost normal.  I was the loner, I did not fit in,

my temper, my depression, and my emotions in general

did not fit what the Dr. Spock book said about how a

child should behave.

When my mother said, “Why don’t you act like your

 brother and sister?” I took it to mean that she loved

them more than me and I carried that unfounded idea

that I was not lovable to a whole new level of paranoia

for many years and it allowed me to build a resentment

of mountainous proportions.

.

Thank God for Alcoholics Anonymous . 

I am not sure how I found the rooms of AA because at the time I went to my first meeting I had no

idea what an alcoholic was, nor did the thought ever occur to me that I might be one. There are no coincidences, there are only God incidences.  The truth is that the message a Higher Power whishes

one to receive will be given, as many times as is necessary and the only requirement is that one learns

to listen for the message and hold no resentments against the messenger. One often learns the will of a

Higher Power through the words and actions of others, whether they be positive or negative lessons,

does not make a difference to your Higher Power, the message is that we learn from every experience

to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding.

The message to be carried is,

“you do not have to live that way any more, because there is a better way .”

There was no turning point that I can recall which could be specified as “the” moment, day, bright light,

or burning bush, that announced to my consciousness that I was an alcoholic of the worst ilk and that

I had spent nearly half a century in the clutches of an addictive personality.

The awareness of my alcoholic condition was a slow series of nudges from a Higher Power and they

were usually only partially conscious aha moments that came to me during meetings, (before, during and after) with other recovering people.

The path to serenity, peace of mind, spirituality and humility is and will always be a

journey to be enjoyed, one day at a time.

JUST TURN TOWARDS YOUR HIGHER POWER

Please be included in my prayers for all of my sober friends that their turning points may continue

to always move towards the better.

Michael_e

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