Recovery...as this drunk sees it #6

 

Get help or else. (Change)

It is necessary to understand that no one is going to do

anything to help cure the drunk, because there is no cure,

there is only recovery.

The therapist, the judge, the friend, the family or the
sponsor may suggest a change,

but only the drunk can make the change.

Cured is a state of being in the mind of the alcoholic/addict
that when the physical compulsion and the mental
obsession to drink and use has been lifted and they now understand how their recovery was manifested.
That understanding only comes when they realize who or
what gave them the courage and strength to change.

"We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we

could not do for ourselves."  BB    pp84

If the drunk is not willing to change, nothing will change.

Change, be it for the better or for the worse, just change, usually because anything is better than what
we were subjected to when the drunk was drinking, the addict was using.

Treatment and recovery usually means that we are trying to restore the alcoholic/addict to sanity.
Sometimes the restoration becomes lost in the fog of who is that person, really. Sometimes we
remember vividly who that person was; the smiling, confident, caring and loving child, spouse, sibling,
friend, co-worker, that we remember from when. Many times we wonder if there ever was any
sanity, the drunk has been drunk for so long that all we remember is the misery and torment of
broken promises and broken dreams.

At this point in his/her recovery the list of bad habits, the defects of character have been made and
the alcoholic/addict has said they are willing to change those bad habits and questionable
characteristics to resemble sane behaviors.

Stopping the drinking and drugging is not the only goal of recovery. Many a person has stopped
drinking and drugging on their own. Without changing their emotional make up those people are
just miserable dry drunks who no longer drink or drug. Their behaviors remain just as destructive
to the family structure as were the drunken sprees.

The change that a treatment program seeks is the maturation of an immature ego that has been
stunted in its growth by drugs and alcohol. Rather than face reality or learn from previous bad
experiences the addict/alcoholic who is in their active addiction use drugs and alcohol to numb
them into unmanageability and virtually ignore any feelings towards anything. The word
consequence means little or nothing to the addict/alcoholic. Many a drunk knows no fear and
they believe that they are invincible, bullet proof, above the law, beyond needing to comply with
rules and regulations.What else would explain why the drunk would drink and drive again, knowing
that if apprehended one more time they could face consequences that could include jail time,
the loss of a career, the loss of loved ones and  possible financial ruin for the family.

The functional alcoholic is capable of maintaining a career and routine responsibilities, however,
their capability to show emotions, feel guilt, shame or remorse, has been totally destroyed.
At some time during the progression of the disease of addiction and alcoholism the ability to
function at a level that can maintain a career or act responsibly is usually ruined. The inability
to have true feelings, other than anger or rage, is what leads the addict/alcoholic to destroy
relationships and eventually to a destroyed self image. The functional alcoholic/addict that
still has his material world under control but stubbornly refuses to examine the emotional
consequences of his bad habits is usually the most difficult of cases to enter the rehabilitation facilities.

 It is this emotional side of their recovery that is the most difficult to have the addict/alcoholic identify
and change. Early in treatment or recovery the alcoholic/addict will be flooded with feelings, some for
the first time in their lives, some for the first time in many years. This flood of emotions makes the addict/alcoholic very uncomfortable and vulnerable to relapse.  Fight or flight is often the most
immediate response by the client to avoid the sense of being overwhelmed by feelings. As noted
previously, the family of a person in treatment should be warned that the telephone call may be
forthcoming, “Get me out of here, these people are crazy, “with the motivation of the client being,
"I can’t stand having these feelings."

Those treatment centers that believe in a cure say that a changed self will is sufficient.

Those religious treatment centers believe that their God can cure anyone.

Those who are proponents of AA believe that a combination of physical, emotional and
spiritual changes will help a person achieve sobriety.

All theories work for some of the people some of the time.

Reality is that the success rate, the number of treated people who are restored to sanity,

among all forms of treatment is very low.

The best thinking of the drunk is not of the best.

Michael_e